AWWWWWW YEAH! What's up, yelperz? Mearns E. in the HAUSE!!!!!! Yo man, last week I was just riding around, king of the town, windowz rolled down, and all of a sudden my bike went all BANANAERZ on me! I know it sounds like I'm trippin', but I'm FOR REAL Y'ALL, my bike was MESSED UP, I was all like "WHAAAAAT?!?!?!". I mean for real, one minute I'm just dominating on the beat box like it ain't no thing but a chicken wing, and the next minute, my wheel gets all tyrranical rex on me, and I was like "Woah, look out, I'm about to straight up FALL OFF of this bad beast, CHICAGO STYLE!" Seriously, though, I was quite worried for my well being because I almost lost my balance and had to involuntarily dismount my bicycle. So I bring my whip, the "Pink Ballbag" over to Chris at Ike's, and he's like "Yo man, I'm just gonna throw a new deflopinator on your mish-mash gearcluster bananagram sprocket, and you'll be as fresh as a baby's bottom!" and I'm like "Whatever you say, dude, because I don't speak French, so I have no idea what you're talking about right now, and quite frankly I'm on a pallet load of phenobarbital, so all I really want to do is eat Dipsy Doodles and take a nap, homeskillet!" But seriously, I don't really like Dipsy Doodles. I was crunching down on a serious batch of Buffalo Ranch Doritos at the moment of the situation, feel me? So anyway, this dude "Chris" set up my whip with a new dinner nube and he also inflated my brake cables. I write "Chris" in quotation marks because some of the other people in the bike shop were calling him "BEEF SUPREME", which seemed kind of weird to me at the time, but like I say, I was pretty jacked up on pain meds, so I didn't think too much of it at the time. Also, homeskillet couldn't make change for a $20 bill, so he just let me take a dump in the sandbox, which seemed like a reasonable compromise. I GOTTA BOOGIE: LATER DAYZ: read more