I see the last review was uploaded eight months ago. We felt like we'd been sitting in that restaurant for eight months; we were there for so long.
In truth, we arrived at 6:30pm and were out by 9:20pm, but it should have been a warning to us as it took 10 minutes before someone materialised to seat us despite having a booking. Only four tables were in use by customers so I'm not sure where the staff were.
Anyway, we ordered the three-course meal which turned out to be a mistake.
First, the waiter offered us water to which we said yes. I'm not sure where they go for their water, maybe they wait for condensation to build up somewhere and allow it to drip into the glasses.
Twenty minutes go by with no sign of water or wait-staff. Finally, someone stopped by the table and asked if we'd like water, to which we reply that we are still waiting for it.
The water eventually showed up but the menu also said that bread with an olive oil dipping plate would come to the table. They must have been growing the wheat because that in itself took an eternity to arrive, and it was hard and chewy which no amount of dipping could assail.
Twenty minutes later the entree arrived. My duck pie was tasty, but my wife's oxtail broth was tasteless. I'm not sure what oxtail should taste like but being on the menu I'd expect it to taste of something. We finished though, and sat and chatted until a waiter shook off his cobwebs and eventuated past our table again.
As my wife and I sat talking, I looked at the time and realised we'd been there an hour and a half and just finished entree. Maybe it's a restaurant designed to get couples talking.
For the main, I ordered the lamb cutlets and imagined the phone call going out to the local farmer:
"Hey Bob, Steakhouse here. Someone's ordered the lamb cutlets."
"No worries mate, I'll get the old ewe impregnated and have a lamb to you shortly."
The lamb must have arrived but given them a bit of trouble in the kitchen as the three wait-staff weren't seen by any table for some time. I can understand though, lambs can be pretty frisky little things and chasing it around a confined space such as a kitchen would test anyone.
It wasn't worth the wait though; it was tough and tasteless.
My wife ordered the beef rib fillet and a huge piece of meat came out with a bone attached. I think it was an entire cow though and the bone was a horn. Obviously their grill isn't big enough to fit a cow as half the meat was well-done and the other was rare.
We didn't finish either of our mains, they were that underwhelming. I felt guilty for cutting short that lamb's life after it had so much frolicking fun in the kitchen with the staff.
A shadow crossed our table. We looked up. The waiter was there. What was he doing there? Perhaps he'd made a mistake. He wasn't due back at the table for another 35 minutes. The waiter, brushing cobwebs off his suit, looked at our mains and wasn't sure whether to take them away.
"We're done," I said, "We're looking forward to dessert."
"I'll get that under way for you," he replied, ducking as I flicked a balled cobweb back in his direction.
Under way? Now I have to wait for cocoa beans to grown, picked and roasted for my chocolate dessert?
Fortunately the dessert didn't take long to arrive and was the best part of the night.
Finally, we were done but that wasn't the end; we stood by the counter while they took 20 minutes to finalise our bill which we were just attaching to our room anyway.
All through the meal we were both freezing, due to the air conditioning being on cold in the middle of winter. Perhaps it was the temperature that caused the staff to move at a glacial pace.
All up, if you have almost three hours to spare for average food and wait-staff who seem to work part-time only; you'll love it! read more
