When things are going wrong in your life, this isn't the best place to come, because they tend to "Pile On". And If they sold crayons, it be "El Pilon Crayola" according to Garland, whose name sounds a bit like Garmin, so I'm sure he'd never steer you wrong. And it's not quite New Orleans Cajun food, otherwise it would be "El Pilon Creole." But other than that, it's pretty awesome here.
What to get: Pernil with yellow rice
What else: Beef Stew and your mother's immigration card
If it were a pharmacy, it would be "El Pill Criollo."
Pilon Criollo has lovely everything. Lovely employees serving lovely food at lovely prices in a lovely tiny little new-looking shack-type building in the Spanish part of town. There are plenty of Puerto Rican spots in this neighborhood, but this one is one of the best ones.
If it sold dough (and dough boys), it would be "El Pillsbury Criollo."
I'm not a huge fan of Res Guisado (Beef Stew) in general, but this one tasted good, and even better the next day when I was starving. But the real star of the show is the Pernil. True to their excellent customer service, the adorable server gave me a little Pernil even though I only ordered a small Res Guisado ($6) because she knew I was torn between the two dishes as to which one to try.
If it was a fruit-de-skinning service, or if the wallpaper were coming off, or if it were a sunburn treatment clinic, it would be "El Peeling Criollo."
The Pernil was some of the most tender, juicy, delicious roast pork shoulder I've had. It definitely rivalled the excellent Pernil at El Latino (out west of Rochester) and Niagara Cafe (Buffalo). Full marks from me.
If guys like Plato and Socrates came here for lunch (assuming they were still alive, I suppose) it would be "El Philosophers Criollo." But that's a stretch. But then so were a lot of the concepts of Aristotle according to Kant, so. I Kant keep making these awful jokes, can I?
There aren't many tables to sit at, but they're shiny and clean and the place looks brand new. Actually I think it probably used to be a small fast food chain, something like an Arby's or Wendy's, based on how it looks. Funny how when you turn an Arby's or Wendy's into a family owned business, the same digs suddenly look that much more appealing.
And if it were a place that you go to watch sexy people (of either gender) have bedroom play-fights, then it would be "El Pillow Criollo." But considering that "sex sells at a premium", I think the prices would go way, way, way, way up if that were the case. And the prices would not be the only thing going up.
So definitely one of the best tasting and best value Puerto Rican spots in WNY, right up there with Niagara Cafe, Sazon Criollo (both in Buffalo) and El Latino (Rochester). I still have one or two to try to complete my inventory.
And if it were a place that you go to cheat on your significant other, it would be "El Philandering Criollo." Oh wait, it kind of already is. Okay never mind, papi. Ay, mami.
Get over here and try the food and see for yourself how good it is. The Puerto Ricans certainly know how to cook, and my mother certainly knew how to... oh wait, that's not appropriate for Yelp. So never mind then.