A fellow bald guy tipped me off about this place a while back. Now, this particular bald guy also…read morehappens to be a Gen X "I refuse to use Facebook because Zuckerberg is watching me" type. If I was certain he wasn't hiding in some kind of government witness protection program, I'd tag his wife for the referral... but for everyone's safety, we'll keep identities classified. #SpelledwithaZ
Truthfully, I had never even heard of Jasper Kitchen + Bar before this.
But when you're approaching the half-century mark, life starts revolving around exciting things like **annual physicals, cholesterol numbers, and oil changes**.
Yesterday we had a check-up appointment in Jamestown and I thought, "You know what pairs nicely with preventative healthcare? A massive lunch." So off we went.
Before arriving, I checked out their website and immediately had a problem...
**I wanted to order everything.**
This menu is **extensive**. We're talking the kind of menu where you start reading and eventually forget why you opened it in the first place.
Starters
Just casually starting the meal with a **munitions depot** apparently:
* Homemade Chips & Salsa
* Loaded Tator Bombs
* Cheese Bombs
* Garlic Dough Bombs *(seriously... enough bombs... choose love over violence )*
* Bavarian Pretzel Sticks
* Hot Honey Fries
* Buffalo Chicken Dip
* "The Bomb" Sampler... again with the bombs
* Pizza Pretzels
Quesadillas
* Chicken & Cheese
* Chicken Parm
* Chicken Bacon Ranch
* **Philly Dilla** (Yes. Immediately yes.)
Handhelds
* Italian Stallion
* Buffalo Chicken Wrap
* Shrimp or Fried Grouper Tacos
* Chicken Caesar Wrap
* Nashville Hot Sandwich
* Club Wrap
* **The RBF** - Roast Beef with melted provolone, giardiniera *(still not 100% sure what that is)* and parmesan on a hoagie roll
Burgers
Now we're talking.
* Basic B - 1/3 lb Angus beef, mayo, cheese
* Jasper Burger - pepper jack, bacon, jalapeño, Carolina gold sauce, "the garden"
* Bacon Be Jammin Burger - bacon jam AND four strips of bacon
* Big Daddy Burger - two 1/3 lb patties with bourbon sauce
* Patty Melt - Texas toast, grilled onions, American & Swiss
And the best part...
**Every sandwich comes with fries or tots at no extra charge.**
You know... **the way God and Ronald Reagan intended.**
Brick Oven Fired Pizza
14" pies with garlic butter crust dusted with parmesan. This menu reads like a **2000s hip-hop playlist**.
* Cheese-us Walks
* H to the Ezzo *(Columbus-made Ezzo Pepperoni)*
* 2 Legit to Quit
* Coming Back to Philly
* Baby I Got Your Honey with Mike's Hot Honey
* Let's Talk Supreme, Baby
* Drop It Like It's Hot
* California Love *(for those that squat to pee)*
* I Like It When You Call Me Big BBQ
* **Nothin' But a Meat Thang** - loaded with all the meats... I'll leave the joke right there before Facebook suspends me
* Hungry Like a Wolf
Salads
For those who hate flavor.
* House
* Caesar
* Crisp Greens
* Cobb
* Buffalo
* Italian
Let's be honest. A salad is a salad. It's green. It's crunchy. It's what people order when they're pretending to be responsible.
Chicken add on's - Grilled.......or Fried!
Nothing screams **"healthy life choices"** quite like ordering a salad topped with **fried chicken**.
The menu also notes the **ranch is house made**.
Yes. Please. Immediately.
Soup of the Day
Every time I see "Soup du Jour" I immediately hear the **Dumb and Dumber** line...
*"That's the soup of the day."*
*"Mmm... that sounds good. I'll have that."* #IknowEveryLine
Chicken Options
* Boneless Wings
* Bone-In Wings
* Chicken Tenders
Sauces include:
Garlic Parmesan, BBQ Honey, Buffalo, Teriyaki, Mango Habanero, Jamaican Jerk, Nashville Hot, Bourbon, Spicy Garlic, Sweet Buffalo and Dry Rub.
Basically **flavor for every personality disorder**.
The Journey There
We plugged the address into Waze and headed out for what turned into a pleasant country drive.
Eventually Waze directed us to a sign for Jasper Hills Golf Club, not a member, followed by a left turn into what can only be described as an "upper middle class neighborhood."
How do I know?
Big Houses, One with a matching swing set.
That's big money territory. #BigMoney
At the end of the road sits a building that honestly looks a bit like someone's house with a large parking lot. Now sometimes I'm not the brightest bulb in the chandelier... but luckily we were in the right place. Don't be shy - head in.
Inside
The interior was bright, open, and inviting with plenty of seating. Eventually the dining room filled up with guests.
Our server - Hannah greeted us quickly, took our drink orders, and was fantastic the entire time.
Also worth mentioning:
**Restrooms were clean and spacious**.
Und
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