If I could give this place 5 stars, I would. ... but backwards…read more
I genuinely need someone to explain to me how MaryLou's is famous, because this experience was less "coffee shop" and more caffeinated confusion with a side of frozen breakfast sandwich.
First of all, the bathroom was gross. A ring in the toilet is equivalent to the suffe-ring I'm about to endure coming to this place.
Second, the three young ladies working there did not greet us and seemed endlessly annoyed that we had committed the unforgivable crime of... walking into the coffee shop and ordering coffee.
Now let's talk about the coffee.
Their menu is handwritten, which would be cute if it were actually UPDATED. The flavor listed was no longer the flavor of the day, it was the flavor of yesterday, the actual flavor of the day was already out, and somehow the flavor of the month -- horchata -- was just coffee.
Pot. Coffee.
How is horchata a pot coffee??? Did we sprinkle cinnamon into the regular brew and say, "¡Olé, she's horchata now!"?
And how are you OUT of coffee flavors when coffee is literally the main character here?
Also, the coffee was lukewarm at best. I'm no co-fee-nnoisseur, but I have had many a coffees in my lifetime, and one thing I know for certain is that HOT COFFEE should, at minimum, be hot.
Then came the food.
The stuffed waffle sandwich was FROZEN in the middle. We returned it. They "made" another one... and somehow Round 2 came back lukewarm, soggy, and equally depressing.
At that point, just hand me the microwave and let me finish cooking it myself.
The bacon, egg and croissant sandwich was another mystery. That "croissant" had the texture, density, and emotional support capabilities of a hoagie.
Listen, I understand this is a coffee place and not a Michelin-starred breakfast establishment. But if the food is going to arrive iced, soggy, frozen in the middle, and impersonating a croissant, maybe stop selling food until everyone has made peace with the toaster oven or a good microwave at the very least.
And apparently they didn't know how to make one of the sandwiches THEY ADVERTISE.
Ma'am. It is your sandwich.
But what really killed the entire experience was watching how one employee was being treated by her own coworkers. They were mean and uncomfortable to watch, especially toward a coworker who appeared to be LGBTQ+. Whatever was going on, the energy was awful.
Suddenly the unwelcoming service made a lot more sense.
Mean-girl service + lukewarm pot coffee + frozen breakfast sandwiches + mystery croissants = one very negative experience.
Neither Mary nor Lou would be happy with this display.
Mary? Disappointed.
Lou? Probably asking to have his name taken off the building.
And me? Still trying to understand how cinnamon coffee became horchata.
Mary and Lou, please come play Secret Santa and Secret Shop at your own coffee shop, because somebody needs to unwrap what is going on here.
I'll never return here, thanks tres mean amigas!
