I was so disappointed with my experience here that I had to channel my feelings into a poem, which I will attempt to post in it's true form, as well.
I hope these words will be an adequate warning to anyone looking to make an appointment.
All the following is an angry, but completely true recollection of my time at Curl Up and Dye.
You Make Me Want To
Curl up and Die,
Curl up and Dye
You make me want to
Shout in the face of the next person to pass!
Reeling from the way you treated me
For the smell of booze and cigarettes on your breath,
Your hands.
Cause all of that made the thought of death
A pleasant escape from your strong, desperate fingers,
And your endless yammering.
For your thoughtless assurances.
For your neverending judgement.
You and so many others have now made that mistake
Of thinking you know me,
When really your wrong.
The only people who DO, don't go blabbering on
Projecting your own personal bullshit neurocies on me,
You don't know this
but I drop those idiots quickly.
I tried to drop you too, before you even began,
I said "no thank you" I literally took a stand.
But instead you held my shoulder with your hand.
You begged me to stay, and unfortunately
I didn't do what my gut was telling me.
And allow me to start with a "Thank You"
For being such an ass
Because without your haircut in my life, on this lesson I would pass:
Always trust your gut, Ash!
It's never steered you wrong.
This will be a waste of time and cash.
I ignored the signs.
She's deflecting, she's drunk,
A dozen issues
right then I spotted:
Dirty Brushes
Dingy atmosphere
Not a single lady there
Just Rhonda, and Ashley,
And a sudden issue with my request.
"Can you give me a Curly Perm?"
The first thing I asked.
When I called you last week
I figured you could manage that at Curl up and Dye.
But instead you lied.
Why wouldn't you listen?
And just tell me 'no'?
So I could use my time wisely
Instead of wasting it with you
You made me want to get away
When I heard the perm I had ordered
would never be found
at this place.
I wanted to get away from that horrible look on your face
When I asked you: "Can you give me a Curly Perm?"
You said "Yes
BUT
I can't show you"
We can't look it up on insta
We can't look it up on the net
We can't look it up from one of those old picture books
My mom's hair stylist used to get.
I want to see what the outcome will be
Before I move forward with perming these
Long luxurious locks
I want the look I asked for from you
I want a look that rocks.
So I decided then and there,
Without consulting your limited knowledge
That if you were buzzed and unwilling to perm,
I would find somewhere else to introduce me to my curls.
Little did I know it was time to endure
Your annoying provocateur
You should have a change of vocation
With all your vocalization
Why are you telling me what to do?
Giving advice on a life you don't see.
Was I once apart of you too?
Because last time I checked,
My mother exists as another woman - living in another city, with much better repore.
So I sat and I watched dumbly as you played with my hair
Afraid to speak my mind for fear of a botched haircut retaliation.
You told me about my mistake
In wanting to get a perm
And I realized my mistake
For wanting to get a perm done
by YOU.
And so
even though
I asked to leave
You told me "no,
don't go"
"Can you give me a Curly Perm?"
Yes...
BUT
Deflecting again.
Telling me you'll eat the cost of the haircut you've already started
just to prove
I'm wrong, I don't need a perm.
So fine. I sat there. Almost out of pity,
Ready to leave the entire time,
why did I drive across the city?
To be somewhere where someone will flatter me?
Fakely?
Transparent.
You washed my hair.
You talked without being able to multi-task
And wash at the same time.
You cut my hair.
You talked without being able to multi-task
And cut at the same time.
You wet my hair again.
You talked without being able to multi-task
And wet my hair at the same time.
Then I check
and as I suspected,
You'd wasted almost every second
Of my running meter
2 hours.
(2:00)
And all you did was cut my hair.
And blab.
All I asked: "Can you give me a Curly Perm?"
You knew what I was there to pursue
But here you are
Thinking we're the same
Or somehow mistaking me for not being onto you.
You told me one thing
Gave me another
Lectured the whole time
Pushing me farther
From enjoying my afternoon
And keeping me from doing a hefty load of work
Work turned to a workout
Flexing every patient muscle of my body
Trying not to yell
Because with people like you, what will that accomplish?
You'll just talk over me
Tell me what's best for me.
You won't give me what I want.
Because you can't.
And after it was all over
I ran from there
I threw the money at the register
And hiked up my skirt to get the hell away.
I was Usain Bolt.
I was Usain Bolt if Usain Bolt curses like a pirate at random strangers on the street when he's angry. read more
