Jealousy--I've only felt it once, and that was enough. It is ugly and eats you from the inside. It's different from trust, loyalty, and betrayal. Betrayal comes from lack of loyalty, which destroys trust. Jealousy comes when you feel inferior to someone else's beauty, attention, ability, or privilege.
It happened years ago at Thanksgiving in our new home. I sensed betrayal and suddenly felt envy toward someone younger, maybe more beautiful, receiving attention I thought belonged to me. Rage filled my heart, and I vowed never to let envy consume me again.
Last night at Crawfish LA, I watched jealousy rise out of someone else. Now that I'm older and wiser, I recognize deception and negative energy instantly. We had just come out of mass at SMG in San Jose. My old sedan couldn't fit eight kids, so we walked across the street for food. The boys ran, the little girls skipped, and I followed behind with my green folder like a schoolteacher. The crosswalk lights counted down, but the moment was too beautiful to hurry.
At the restaurant, I asked the cashier if the kids could use the space for an activity before the food arrived. The credit union had given out crayons and turkey pictures, so I hosted a coloring contest. The prize was $10. Everly and Allen won fair and square.
The first plate brought out was French fries with a little calamari. The boys kept their sweet potato fries to themselves. I told them no eating until we prayed. They dropped their pencils and fries and erupted into "Kinh Mừng Maria," the Vietnamese Hail Mary. Our food came--vermicelli with crab, baked oysters, and Combo #2 (shrimp and crawfish). I paid extra for ten sausages but received only thin slices. The oysters lacked butter or scallion oil, but the cook redeemed themselves with free garlic noodles. The family is too kind to give a bad review.
This place used to be Trúc Anh, my favorite crawfish spot before a driver crashed into the storefront, forcing it to close. When it reopened in September 2025, I was excited to return. The manager had once told me the secret to their seasoning was fresh orange juice. As fellow Catholics, I believed him. I've used the same ingredients at home--it's salty but delicious.
The kids weren't allowed to touch Combo #2 until they finished coloring and revoting for officers of God's Tears. With gloves on, Dustin nominated himself for Treasurer. Simon became Vice President. The tightest race was between brothers Aaron (13) and Louis (9). This was our third election. After a close vote, Louis won President. He had even written a speech, but Aaron accused him of using AI. I saw Aaron's face turn red with anger and hurt as he glared at the kids who didn't vote for him. He even accused me, though it was a secret ballot. But energy does not lie--the girls had voted for someone closer to their age.
On the drive home, Aaron slumped over. I dropped him and Louis off first because betrayal had defeated him. Jealousy drained his spirit. He couldn't pretend to be okay.
Thinking back to Thanksgiving 2019, that girl wasn't more beautiful. What I envied was youth and innocence. Earlier that year, I had endured isolation and betrayal that shattered my confidence. Now I understand that time--not money, beauty, or status--is what I value. There's no need for jealousy when you become the best version of yourself.
Aaron can take this moment to rebuild. He can learn to speak kindly and clearly, and run again next year. Both brothers are intelligent, creative, hardworking, and capable. They share the same DNA, but respect must be earned.
Time on earth is limited. Death--of innocence, relationships, or life itself--can make you jealous of the living. Boys and girls, let's not be jealous. read more