I reached out as someone seeking an Autism Diagnosis. My 1st consultation was with Dr. Hafeez. I explained why I thought I might be autistic. As a background, my education is human services and public health, I work training case managers who secure healthcare/disability services for people with disabilities. When I first heard the word autism associated with me it was from a speech pathologist colleague and mentor. I explained my expertise in the field, and my decade long process to feel comfortable enough to seek an official diagnosis. She informed me in the consult that I "should not diagnose myself off TikTok" and that she would be surprised if I were autistic because autistic people can't get "master's degrees without support." I shrugged off this ableist bias and politely informed her that I've known several people who are officially diagnosed as autistic and have higher education (there's such a stigma) and reiterated that my assumption comes from professionals (including an autistic therapist and speech pathologist) and my own experience working in the disability field.
My next 2 sessions were with clinicians who seemed much less bias. Testing is rigorous. I was tested with standard IQ tests, the ADOS, and many others. I did note that I came into the testing prepared with a list of autistic characteristics. I had heard of adults being interviewed about their experiences as many of us are overlooked as children because we learn to cover up and adapt to our autistic traits (called masking). I came in with notes to discuss how I socialize, issues with sensory stimulation, special interests, meltdowns, struggle with changes in routine, proclivity with lining up objects, etc. But there was no interview. It took several months and this place is located nearly 3 hours away, but I only had to pay 4 copays which was refreshing since adult assessments are at least $800.
I received my report and was surprised by the findings. Dr. Hafeez explained I "have a lot of autistic traits" but that doesn't mean I'm autistic. She noted my results were "borderline" and I come off as "high functioning autistic to some people." She explained I have insomnia (common for autism). She said I seem to have social anxiety but was confused as to why I didn't associate my social struggles with anxiety and I explained I'm not anxious when I know people will understand me, but in situations I have to play mental chess (with neurotypical people), it's exhausting. This is common in autism, but I'm not autistic. She noted a nearly "gifted" ability to learn verbally in my IQ test. She noted this "giftedness" as well as a previous statement I had made about reading at age 3 (hyperliteracy) as having a lot overlap with autism. But not autistic. I have a sensory processing disorder but mine isn't related to autism. The issues I struggle with in socialization, she noted, likely come from my ability to retain verbal information so if I'm at a restaurant, I can read the menu, listen to a friend, and overhear another conversation. This may cause me to pull out unintended information from the communication and might be overwhelming because I process that information simultaneously. If you are wondering if this sounds autistic, it is, but not mine. And lastly the ADOS. The ADOS is designed to look at autistic characteristics in childhood, as an adult, both, or neither. Many autistic people diagnosed as adults learn to mask their characteristics and thus get missed as children. Example, if I think everyone should be called by their full names and my 2nd grade classmate says that's weird, I learn that's not socially appropriate. My ADOS indicated autism. Dr. Hafeez believes I was so convinced I was autistic that I talked myself into answering accordingly. This implies that I drove 11 hours, paid her $140 to fake a stigmatizing diagnosis that I will receive no benefits from. Is this because she thinks it's trending on TikTok?
Why does this look like a duck, sound like a duck, but is not a duck? Because I made "decent eye contact, used reciprocal language, and laughed appropriately" (nervously). I asked her about masking for which she simply stated they checked and I'm not.
She did note that results are not always accurate and they may be misinterpreting the data. Yes, I will be seeking a 2nd opinion.
As a healthcare professional, I rarely like condemning professionals. Analyzing data and the complexity of the human body is not always a perfect science that ends up in neat boxes, but this was done in an extremely unprofessional manner. Autistic or not, her ableism is detrimental to the welfare of her patients (imagine a parent getting their child's diagnosis and their child is insinuated as incompetent, or someone who is undergoing weekly therapy who is insinuated that they are pretending their symptoms). I am looking forward to another clinician who is prepared to provide me with a less ableist lens of my diagnosis (or lack of). read more