So let's talk about a guy named Daniel. I have stories about Daniel that are quite entertaining... so strap in and let's go for a ride here...
Hey Daniel! it's me - the short dude who bribes for the bill... thanks for a great evening! This is the review that gets you "Waiter of the Month" and the good shifts for at least two weeks... maybe even a free meal on your boss... (side eye to the boss - take care of this guy ;) ;) )
So, I've never been to Crystal River, Florida. However, when in Florida... one should visit Crystal River. We had plans to meet friends at a local restaurant that couldn't accommodate our party at the last minute... so we switched to Cody's. What a treat that was!
You see, when I ask you to dinner that means I get to pay. Especially for those more ornery dinner guests that try to get one over on ya, one must know, I always win. Always.
So, I pulled the classic Brandon (that's me folks - I'm Brandon). I show up early, go in, make the promise of an inflated tip (which I always deliver on!) and guarantee the bill makes it into no one else's hands, except mine. Daniel and I make our pact before our friends arrive and the evening is on track.
I'm going to skip all the other blah blah blah... menu selection was great. Price was on point. Service was EXCELLENT (thanks to Daniel!). Food was delivered as ordered. Salad was nice. Our company enjoyed the rolls. Other staff was polite. Ambiance was exactly what one would expect from a restaurant named Cody's in north Florida with a deck... it checked all the boxes.
Now back to the fun part of this review / story... so you see, I do this thing, when the meal is wrapping up, my wallet quietly disappears from the table. A credit card is placed between two fingers and placed just in view for a member of the wait staff to swipe it from me and make the bill go away... Well, well, well... as my wallet very quietly started to slip off the table I was ABRUPTLY interrupted by our dinner guests to be advised the bill had been taken care of for the evening! ::CLUTCHES PEARLS:: I HAD BEEN BETRAYED! B-E-T-R-A-Y-E-D! DANIEL! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME, SIR!?!?!?
Between the look on my face and the terror on Daniel's face as his life flashed before him, he knew the reconciliation had to be made...
...now, to be fair, Daniel is a man of his word. It came out through good laughter that he may have been cornered by dearest girlfriend... and albeit I do not know the details... I would not be completely surprised if she twirled a steak knife between her fingers while she forced him to run her card... he likely was in self-preservation mode for his life!
A great laugh was had by all... someone finally, after all these years, got one up on me... or DID they?
The guilt moved in, slowly and surely. Many visits to our table were made by Daniel... all the refills and plate clearing... when magically, a note is dropped very indiscreetly in my lap. It reads "BTW, if you really want me to, I can un-charge her card and charge yours to be sneakier". Boy if I didn't need the little boy's room suddenly, as a slide of the hand transferred my card to his hands. A quick trip into the restroom and magically, I had a receipt in my hands... VICTORY HAS BEEN HAD!
Daniel - you're the bomb. You've given us a story but even more importantly, a memory. The night someone ALMOST got one up on me... You've kept my perfect record in-tact and preserved my pride of being the guy that shows his love by buying the people he loves, dinner.
And for the backstory that you didn't even know... that (likely steak-knife yielding) lady who cornered you to pay... she is one of my dearest friends in this lifetime and probably the only other human on this planet that is as competitive as me. We've been friends for almost a decade, we met when she became my boss almost 10 years ago. Instant besties. She took a risk on me when I opened a business in 2019 and has been faithfully by my side professionally since February 2020. You just added a wonderful memory to our friendship that we'll laugh about for many years to come! Cheers to you, Daniel! I expect to see a picture of you wearing the Waiter of the Month crown!
Oh and for those of you who made it to the end - check out Cody's - it's delightful. Ask for Daniel and tip the heck out of this dude... he's good people! read more