The atmosphere was bland, the fare overpriced (as food usually is in Fleet Street outside of the hallowed environs of Temple's), and the eating experience variable - pasta would range from al dente to soggy apparently at random - but the carbonara sauce and fresh, light bread were enough to keep me coming back.
Until, that is, the customer service experience completely fell apart. Previously, Coco has been one of the more efficient food-buying experiences on Fleet Street, but today I went in to buy my usual round of carbonara, bread, and brownie, only to discover once I left that the bread had been left out. (Although the bread is left on top of the counter, on every single one of my many previous visits the server had placed the bread in my bag for me, so I naturally assumed that was the etiquette.)
Had the bread been replaced quickly and painlessly on my return, there would be no problem: I accept that little mistakes often happen. However, on my return things quickly became farcical. "The bread is missing" is not a complex or difficult concept to grasp, but the server I complained to needed me to tell her what the problem was three or four times before she actually grasped it, despite me specifically pointing to the bread when explaining the problem. She actually decided that the carbonara was the problem and almost tried to have it replaced, and I honestly don't understand how you can mishear "The bread is missing" as "This isn't carbonara". Eventually, a dim light of comprehension dawned on her and I got my bread.
I then decided to talk to the manager, firstly to apologise for raising my voice - I wasn't bellowing by any stretch of the imagination but my tone did start creeping towards the loud end of civil - and secondly to discuss the apparent problem with multiple servers not understanding what "bread" meant. This put the manager on the defensive and prompted him to wheel out excuses, pointing out that the bread was on top of the counter and implying a) that I'm an idiot who can't pick up bread and b) that putting the bread in the bag was my responsibility, despite every single one of my other experiences in the restaurant telling me otherwise.
The first rule of customer service when dealing with complaints is a simple one, but everyone seems to forget it: the rule is that when you have a customer complaint, the first thing you offer shouldn't be an excuse, it should be an apology. The second rule is that if you do have the self-destructive urge to offer an excuse, you bloody well shouldn't choose an excuse that implies that the customer is at fault or an idiot. The manager here broke both of those rules, and did so with a smarmy tone which suggested that he didn't really treat my customer experience seriously.
I reminded him that I wasn't interested in excuses, just apologies, and he eventually croaked one out. It was too late. I left my food there and went to Temple's, because suddenly my appetite for Coco di Mama's carbonara sauce had dried up - permanently. Never again, Coco di Mama, never again. read more