Just visited today, if you ever want to observe the culture clash between Stuffy Canadians and the Over-the-Morbid-Obesity-BMI-While-Being-Well-Under-the-Poverty-Line North Country Folk, then you have come to the right place.
There are three types of people present in the mall
First we have the scums, a often obese and disorderly tribe of people. They often walk the mall in small to horde-sized packs, taking over what is not already declared to belong to another faction. Good well rounded warriors overall, but constantly suffer from ravenous STD's along with the occasional STI or Anal Prolapse. This leads them to having a disadvantage in battle, and one could be taken out easy if they wander too far from the horde. Beware of their special class of warrior, the chemist, who can concoct various potions and narcotics (often meth) for their warriors and medics. While spread throughout the mall, they flock towards the south side and have a camp established in the camping section of Sears, tread lightly while there.
Second we have The Rednecks, again an often obese and uncivilized people. There trademark attire includes Carhartts, Steel Toe Boots and NASCAR T-Shirts. They are by far the most unpredictable in their tactics and behavior. Most often stick to themselves while others are entirely rude and disgusting. They are unified in a never ending war against the mystical Quebecois that often come down from their mysterious land to shop here, but we shall go into that further later. The hate has been mutual between the two, for the Rednecks claim "If you dont speak American, i dont want you in America" while the Quebecois have no idea what the hell they are saying due to no common language. There special class of warrior is the Drunk-and-highly dangerous Juggernaut, who is incredibly obese and foul creature, whom anyone could smell from a distance. This warrior launches incredibly powerful attacks and often suffocates their opponents by simple knocking them to the ground and sitting on them. Never attempt to take on one alone. There headquarters is strictly defined as Gander Mountain, with recon camps set up in Radioshack, Dicks Sporting Goods, and Adirondack Trading Post. These areas are safe for normal travel and commerce, but can be dangerous at times.
Finally we have the mysterious Quebecois (yeah i have not any idea how to pronounce that either). These people travel great lengths from their mystical homeland of Quebec, simply to shop here and enjoy the view of what they believe to be lesser creatures of the Champlain Valley. Stuffy and Rude don't begin to scratch the surface with these people, who since they can't understand you, will push and shove their way to what they believe is theirs and only theirs. They can and will turn violent if you get in there way, which is pretty much everywhere, but mainly in the Higher End Retail shops. There special class is the most rare but by far the most dangerous, the Wizard. Since we don't understand these people, and can't even quite qualify them as people, it's hard to describe what the wizard does, other than mopping the floor with the blood of his enemies using strange Canadian spells and scrolls. These are the most growing population, for they cannot be defeated, due to Prime Canandian health care, whatever casualties taken in battle return in weeks to fight on.
On that note, there is a change in the air as of recently in the mall, people are afraid, afraid of these Canadians possibly taking over due to there immense amounts that really feel the need to drive all the way to the US of A to shop. They keep returning and bringing more with them. They have completely taken over the north side of the mall, and impose unfair taxes on shoppers in their territory, if the Scums and Rednecks don't find common ground they will be purged within years.
A fourth tribe once was present in the halls of the mall, the nerds, of which have been cleansed entirely with the closure of FYE. Some small encampments still exist in Gamestop and Best Buy, some eagerly await the return of these acne ridden creatures, to finally bring balance to the malls other three factions.
The main battlements include the Food Court along with the blood stained walls (period blood perhaps?) of Spencers.
On to the actual mall, it's shit, straight up, lack of selection, lack of escalators and lack of glory holes in the bathroom, really make the mall deserve the rating of one star. read more
