We left at the right time. I found out that everything we saw coming down the pipeline, came to…read morepass. The child who was sexually invasive to others in his class, and saying he was black when he was white to justify using racial slurs, was asked to leave as the behaviors increased.
Others left by choice, after us.
I am surprised adults can be so cruel, when adults feel so little power in their lives.
We have teachers now, who are not so powerless... the teachers could not protect, at Bend International.
The learning specialist, Jae, a sub/ volunteer, Cheryl Alvarez, and the school counselor were especially volatile/ hostile, though there were others who misused their roles.
We have been away from this for a bit and forgot, actually. There is healing in that.
It is a shock to remember...
Staff would change songs in music class to being about a sperm donor (instead of a sperm whale) as they thought that was our situation... It is not our life, but relationships here seemed grounded on query.
Fire off an accusation, see the results, it might be true.
Some of it was funny, I suppose. I have always heard many who applied Taylor Swift's song "Me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me" to themselves as a self-depreciating joke. Here, staff used conjecture and gossip to make the song about families they didn't like. You can't really address this level of drama/ trauma to staff's face, without it being ugly, but you know... what is being said.
I was shocked by so much that happened here.
I realize the direct teachers really couldn't do much to help in the face of what was systemic. I couldn't address much of what I knew was happening directly either as I was trying to get along. I remember how it felt to be in this system.
I did see it and tried to address it with individuals privately.
I see now how much of this was systemic and that brings forgiveness for individuals caught in this mess...
It did teach my child about racial and religious intolerance at a young age. He is better able to stand firm and tall in the face of it. He learned of adults who try to coerce him into identities, too, due to identifying as "not the problem" in their personal lives. It wasn't allowed to be his choice or discovery.
The problem, is not the individual. It is systemic.
Here in Bend, we have received overt and covert forms of intolerance.
Sometimes it is because of the usual, being bisexual, a person of color, a solo parent, a different religion, or having a disability.
Sometimes those who see themselves as better, at recognizing the above identities, are the ones causing the worst intolerance... are the ones forcing kids to come out, forcing kids to not uncover identities for themselves, but are assuming, greatly, they know who the child is in front of them.
It isn't easy here, for a variety of reasons. It seems basic, common care of the individual and the heart has been lost. Basic common standards of decency around sexuality, not forcing or coercing, has been lost. This goes for the adults who try to seem strong, who really, aren't... they are good at force.
