Sometimes it's health to leave.
On hearing how vile the rumors were on our leaving, and the pecking order established that relied on our being at the bottom, I am glad we were spared the worst of some of the other things we have learned have happened at Cascades Academy.
We started out with 4 new families. Of those, at least 3, maybe all 4, left due to severe bullying. (One new child bullied to fit in.) We didn't get the worst of it. We were allowed to leave as the school was not prepared to make accommodations for my son's heart condition.
My child was being bullied and I had asked about it and been told it wasn't happening. I am very grateful to a teacher there, for writing me a hand-written note letting me know how severe the hazing was there for the newer students in his class. It was only first grade but still, lines were drawn from Kindergarten. We saw this teacher again, the following semester as we left to an alternate school and he was there. The teacher told us he had been reprimanded for "not having boundaries" by Cascade Academy -- for writing us a letter and expressing concern, for saying in the letter the bullying wasn't an accurate reflection of who someone is and to stay strong, to know oneself despite the hazing. I told the teacher how much my child had loved his classes, and how much the letter had meant to us at a hard time. It hadn't been a lapse of boundaries. It had been a moment of humanity. It allowed me to believe what I knew was true, and to believe myself enough to take action and leave when other solutions couldn't be found.
A student had tried to lead my child to a trail and told him "We are playing a game called 'get lost.'" This student waited for 15 minutes until recess was over, for him to literally "get lost"... based on comments the child's parents said, about our family's car not being nice enough, a Nissan Sentra and then a Subaru Outback. I knew the family didn't like us as they had made other comments along these lines. I also knew the director, Julie, felt protective of them, as though we were bothering their sensibilities for existing. It was enough for me to introduce myself and say something the group didn't know about me, an opener... that I had sang in Prague once on stage, for Julie to identify me as suspect, a narcissist, and to feel protective of the Mom who wanted us to get lost... as though I was pushing this other Mom too far for existing.
Over the years, since leaving, other parents have told us some of the things said about us, undermining our character in vicious ways. I can understand why other new families did not speak up, or why they waited out the end of the school year despite harsh treatment/ hazing. I am sure that being locked into a contract went into this, as well.
My child's teachers didn't take seriously when my child's backpack was thrown in the pond... or address it or even notice it was sopping wet.
My child saw another student who was new have his pants pulled down at Halloween... and other boundary violations against this other student from the class. Sometimes witnessing harm can feel profound. The student who was causing the harm (against the other new student) had a teacher as a parent... much went unaddressed.
The school suggested my child, a first grader, go outside on his own for air breaks for his heart. He couldn't feel temperature at the time (after his surgery) and there was snow on the ground and chill in the air. He often didn't wear boots, or a coat, without being prompted after surgery (due to not feeling the cold temperature.) I brought up that the doors automatically locked on closing. If he was locked out, not dressed for winter, the only way back into the building would be to circle the school and use the intercom to try to get the front desk staff to open the door for him. I knew it was not a solution for us. There had been times I had used the intercom and no one had come. The school was unconcerned and said he could wrap on the windows of an adjacent building.
I had many meetings about accommodations with the nurse and Lower Ed. Assistant Director. I proved my child had a medical condition. Staff saw his epi-pen as contra the pandemic, as though we were bringing it in due to being conservative, which we are not. When communication didn't extend to teachers, I asked for more. The school used our parent-teacher conference to ask if we had guns at home, (nothing else,) as though we were suspect due to my advocacy for medical needs. I found out other parents of color or other parents from the country had had this same meeting, and were made suspect as we were. I said we didn't have guns at home but it is often an issue of country vs. city for some and we understand folks are different.
Cascades Academy wouldn't address problems of abuse, emotional violence, damage to personal property (and being.) We said 'no' and we left, on realizing health was not possible and witnessing the worst. read more