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    Captains Table

    2.3 (3 reviews)

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    Smileys - The view from our table

    Smileys

    4.0(3 reviews)
    0.0 mi
    £

    Smiley's is a family tradition, as I learned this weekend when we drove all the way out to…read moreWestcliff-on-Sea from the West End. Egg and chips. Why didn't I know this before? The egg and the other fixings were just average, but the chips were fantastic. Super hot and right out of the fryer, they were rather randomly cut skinned potatoes. Like snowflakes, no two were alike. A little salt, a little vinegar (the English way of course), the bowl was empty before I knew what happened. Great coffee too. Very smooth and delicious. We managed to get a parking space right out front (two hours free!) and then the table right on the pavement ("sidewalk" in American) opened up as we arrived. Front row! A great place to sit and watch the world go past, maybe watch a ship or two go up the Thames Estuary to London. A fantastic spot!

    This is the best cafe down the sea front. For non locals…read morethe Palmeira Parade cafes are known as the Arches and this family owned and run business serves traditional, good quality food at affordable prices. No pomp or pretense the furnishings are basic, comfortable and clean and you can bring your own wine unlike many of the other cafes that have opted for a licence to sell alcohol, mostly cheap inferior quality at inflated prices. On a sunny weekend be sure to book a table in advance, the locals swam here and many tables are reserved.

    Photos
    Smileys - Smileys was the one with the green awning

    Smileys was the one with the green awning

    Smileys - The menu at Smileys

    The menu at Smileys

    Smileys - Oops. Halfway through English Breakfast. I skipped the fried bread.

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    Oops. Halfway through English Breakfast. I skipped the fried bread.

    The Remedy Tearoom - Eggs Florentine at the Remedy Tearooms.

    The Remedy Tearoom

    1.7(3 reviews)
    0.9 mi

    The food was lukewarm, the tea was tepid for my Full English breakfast...same for my partner's…read morebreakfast I recommend choosing another restaurant

    A mixed bag of lovely quiant tearoom and, er truckers cafe!…read more In my quest to find the perfect tearoom for myself and the offsprog , of course I had to try this new place. From the outside, it is beautifully inviting. Traditional oak tables and painted dressers stacked with tea caddies mix with wing backed sofa chairs and shaker style panel cupboards. There wasn't loads of room for 2 prams but they did have a very good high chair. The tea menu is very impressive. I opted for a black tea with cherry and rum. It was gorgeous, and, very importantly, in a teapot. This would have been perfect if it had accompanied with some hot water. My partner in tearoom crime had a hot chocolate. It was in a good sized glass mug reminiscent of a chain coffee shop. For lunch my Eggs Florentine were also nearly perfect. The hollandaise was far too thick and the eggs a little messy on presentation. But these are small points. The poached eggs were runny, the muffin perfectly toasted to golden, not soggy spinach, (yay!) and well, you can't really go wrong with smoked salmon. I wish the same could be said for my friends baguette melt. It came without the brie and onion marmalade so mouthwateringly stated on the menu and so was a baguette with some sliced sausage. It also came with a dismal looking side salad. I say salad, and if you are eating from a greasy spoon style van parked on the A61, it might be. Actually it was some looney looking chunks of iceberg lettuce, a slice of old tomatoe with a bit of a fibrous core and some thin slices of cucumber. It was sent back, but it took a good while and returned with the brie and onion marmalade. Sadly it was cold, so the brie didn't really melt. We decided not to complain again. After finishing we waited for 15 minutes, and there was no service for our plates, any pudding or the bill. That's business they are losing, both on a visit and the loss of return visits. This is a lovely little place, with some great tea on offer, but cruddy service and a halfway house attitude to their food really let them down.

    Captains Table - british - Updated May 2026

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