I was disappointed, if not surprised, to see that this wasn't an anachronistically sexist '00s-era…read moretheme restaurant à la Hooters or Tilted Kilt. Otherwise, I have no notes. This place makes a good cheeseburger.
Well, maybe a few notes.
I figured I'd get either a beer or a milkshake with my burger. I didn't see any milkshakes on the menu, so that made my decision to drink easy enough. Not that I needed one.
I did see a number of ridiculous-sounding desserts, including something called a bacon cookie. But technically I'm training for a marathon, the fact that I'm out here drinking beer and eating ginormous cheeseburgers notwithstanding. Also, it cost like $10. I'll never truly recover from just what I paid for my burger and fries. But trust that I will be back, if only to see what some of these things even are. I might try the entire menu before it's all said and done with. We can only hope that this place doesn't suffer the same fate as the Pi that was in this same location. Keep Barack Obama as far away from here as possible.
His successor Joe Brandon's influence is evident in the pricing. Burgers will run you upwards of $20, but they do come with free fries. Uh, thank you? Well, I guess they come with a free side. You could opt for applesauce, if you want to. I had to talk a girl I was with (but not really "with," natch) out of getting the applesauce. She's welcome. You're also given the option of getting your fries dusted with herbs and Parmesan cheese. One of the guys from my running group got that and seemed to love it, to a degree that was honestly kinda gross. They do the thing like at Five Guys where they give you a truly insane amount of fries as if they're doing you a favor, like they didn't just run your pockets. The fries are roughly the same size and shape as the fries at McDonald's, and they're nearly as good, which is the highest compliment you can pay anything.
The burgers are on another level. They're ginormous steakhouse burgers, rather than the smash burgers that are all the rage everywhere else and have been since Mumford & Sons were climbing the charts and guys were walking around dressed like lumberjacks. The beef is just ground chuck, not some weird blend containing short rib, filet mignon and what have you. But it must be a good-quality ground chuck. That cow must have been fed only the finest industrial waste and words of encouragement. You're given the option of selecting your own toppings, like at a Fuddruckers, or ordering one of their bizarre-sounding specialty burgers. I like the idea of building my own burger, but picking the right toppings would have been entirely too anxiety inducing. It may have caused me to have to go on those meds they give members of Gen Z who spent too much time on TikTok. I'm already dealing with body-image issues as it is.
The problem with such elaborately crafted menu items is that it's hard to know what any of them are really like without seeing and tasting them. What if I ordered the En Fuego and it came out looking like an actual pile of garbage put together by someone who, uh... doesn't have any business making sandwiches? That's kinda what it sounds like. I figured I'd go with one of the small handful of specialty burgers that had bacon on them, and I landed on the Ride the Lightning. In addition to the bacon, er, maple candied bacon, it comes with some sort of blueberry compote and a brie spread that turns all gooey due to the warmth of the burger. It looks positively inappropriate when they bring it out to you, and it's got a taste to match. No Diddy. The blueberry jam or whatever, which seems like it might be kinda weird, really sets it off. The bacon, which, on a burger, can be an afterthought, was great. Surprisingly, all of the toppings serve to accentuate the flavor of the meat, rather than cover it up. As ridiculous as some of these menu items sound, they seem to have put real thought into them. They're not out here playing games.