After my brakes went hinky on me in Baja last weekend, and given the TJ crossing is such a royal goat rodeo, I decided to try the Otay Mesa checkpoint for a muy rapido return to the USSA.
Wrong.
After sitting in that stink for close to 3 hours, it was finally my up, right when the boys in green were doing a changing of the guard.
The BP on duty - an absolutely OBESE officer of the law (and you wonder how stereotypes are perpetuated) moved his largess at glacier speed, while his replacement was clowning and doing his best impersonation of a buffoon. It took them a full 5 minutes to change seats. Multiply that by 3x a day, plus however many booths, and you'll begin to see what a serious time suck these crossings perpetuate.
When Bozo the Border Patrol finally gets his just slightly smaller ass situated, he motions me forward and I go through the drill of handing over a passport and my friend's birth certificate. Bozo fumbles around for his reading glasses, looks at me, back at the passport, back at me, removes the glasses, asks me to remove mine, his go back on, another glance at the passport...repeat 2x.
"Bringing anything back with you?"
"No."
"Got any illegals in there?"
"No." Resenting this idiot's racist comment but biting my tongue because I'm not in the mood for a cavity search today. Not by him anyway...
"Bringing anything back?
"No, again."
I drive a minivan - I could have had a couple of kilos of whatever in my ride - but this guy didn't even do a walk around or peek his head in. "Helluva job Brownie..."
"Someone's got a birthday coming up!" Bozo the Border Patrol says to my friend. She's ready to piss her pants we've been in that line so long and trying hard to maintain her happy place.
"I've really gotta pee, sir."
"He he he he - I bet you do..."
These are the idiots entrusted with our borders, and hence, our national security (whatever) - but this clown made no effort whatsoever to actually verify that I wasn't bringing a van full of "illegals" into the country, a boat load of raggedy ass dirtweed, or some stepped on nose candy for all you fiends.
Howzabout some professionalism? Oh - sorry, I must be losing my mind, or high on all that dope I snizzled back home. These guys are the 3rd string rejects from the Chula Vista PD and one baby step up from rent-a-cop.
America is doomed... read more