I hate to give businesses bad reviews. I really do. I want to live in a Liz Lemon world filled with romance and rainbows. I want to shop in cute boutiques where the jeans always fit and I yell "put it on my tab" but never have to pay. I want to wake up after 8am and not have a parking ticket, go to brunch and not wait for a table, and, even, get a good massage when I need it most. But I have to tell you that this is NOT five-star worthy and to give it that score is to insult to massage therapist and spas everywhere. Yes, it's cheap. Yes, it's easy to get an appointment. But there are some serious flaws and you'd best be warned. You get what you pay for and here that means shortcuts all around.
I tried this place based on it's proximity, price and rave Yelp reviews. My first time was okay. My second time was a nightmare. The main problem is the consistent noise and frequent interruptions. Janie W. nailed it when she said the ladies speak loudly to each other while giving massages. They'll even walk out during the massage to answer phone calls, or the door. I find that royally disturbing and would gladly throw money to get them NOT to leave the room. But that would be assuming the massage was good.
I'm not sure what training and qualifications the staff have but it was clear by my second visit that training is minimal. The woman gave me some random squeezes as she ran around the table in random order. Then she started this slapping thing that can only be achieved by putting your hands in prayer form, and wacking a human with the hypothenar region of the hand (muscles below the pinky). You can actually injure your spine by letting an unskilled person do this to you...and if you have back problems don't even think about it. It is an ancient method and the therapist really needs to understand what they are doing and pay attention. I argue it's outdated. (Google it.)
One of my favorite parts was listening to her toss hard candy around her mouth, as she braced her self against my back with one hand and slapped me around with the other. Loved the loud breathing too, but I couldn't tell whether I liked her loud breathing more, or the dude's groaning from the next "room". Oye.
If you go here expect to lie on a mix of bath towels and paper napkins that cover a no-frills massage table. I can deal with this. What I can't deal with is freezing my a__ off because they give you one measly towel to cover up with. I also can't deal with the "making the bed" sheet toss that leaves you completely out there. Hello world! But whatever.
I was annoyed that the massage "therapist" never touched my arms because the last time I check I had two and they were still attached to my body-- part of the full body massage I believe. She about tore off my face (I'm now laughing as I write this) and well, couldn't get enough of my-- lets call it Lower Back. It was kinda ridiculous. Reflexology was a joke. I should have ended it after the massage but I was hoping she was a reflexology wizard and would redeem herself. I kept looking up at the foot diagram that indicated where the pressure points were because she never got there. Oopsie!
Perhaps my favorite part was the check-out process. Five women running around frantically, telling me that they could only process a credit card with a 20% tip. Girlfriend, you a lie. I let her run my card, signed over $88 as I dreamed of Exhale day spa and went to pull her NOT 20% tip from my wallet. Here's how things went down.
Her (looking at signed cc slip): Two-hour massage twenty percent.
Me (opening wallet): Yes, I am paying with cash.
Her (looking down and up): Twenty percent.
Me (looking up): I have cash. You said I couldn't charge the tip so I'm give you cash...
Her: You have to pay twenty percent tip.
Me (staring): I'll be right back
Her: You go to ATM and get twenty percent
Me (turning into the Incredible Hulk): I think we've already had this conversation.
Her: Go and come back in five minutes. Five minutes twenty percent.
Me (blank stare)
In short Rainbow Health Center is only good for people who don't know a good massage or can't get a back rub at home. I've had many massages and after having been here twice will tell anyone that you can do much better, for not much more money.
A good day here would be a three-star, which on Yelp means A-Ok.
I'm being generous.
I don't understand the five star "good as it gets" ratings. This is not as good as it gets-- you deserve better. read more