Before I went to Axis I was a very isolated, hurt, addicted woman. I was prescribed 12 different perscriptions including Xanex for 2.5 years. I thought I would never be normal again. I thought there was no way I could stop taking it and at the same time I thought I would never be happy again. There was no way...I was full of regret, dispair, suicidal thoughts and anxiety.
When I arrived to I was welcomed with open arms from a woman named Tiffany. She brought me coffee and a wonderful turkey and avacodo sandwich. After flying from CT alone, I was exhausted and she was very understanding and compassionate. I was so scared I was trembling, but Tiffany's hand rubbing my back reassured me that I would be okay. She made me feel safe.
I was brought on a tour and met my roommates, I had no idea that soon these wonderful people would become my dearest friends. They were all well by the time I arrived, and I wanted what they had... I knew this would be the start of my new journey.
The house was amazing. Clean, open, the back of the home is all glass. There are fruit trees, palm trees, benches to sit on outside, beautiful patio furniture, and a huge Inground pool and hot tub. There are two chefs Bill and Betty. Both cook your meals to perfection. They prepare meals that you would only be served at a 5 star restaurant. Bill and Betty are not only employees, but are amazing people to talk and laugh with. Their love and passion for food is something well admired. I was privileged to be served by both.
I must not lie, detoxing from Xanex was not a field trip. The first 4 days I could care a less about what was being served or what the patio furniture looked like. My roommates and the staff were there to give me comfort all day, every day. In my detox stage I was was close to my nurse Paul, who was a kind, soft spoken man.
He did everything he could to help me physically get through the withdrawals, and he was very knowledgable on all of my questions.
As time went on, I actually started to feel better. Everyday I went to groups on time and shared my experiences with the councilors and my roommates, and they shared their stories. What a group of amazing people. Some days we had yoga or meditation with "Mediation Mark" who is a God send for those days where you cannot concentrate or relax. I never thought I could concentrate enough to mediate, and now it's one of my favorite things to do. Mark is a wonderful soul, a kind hearted man whom has traveled the world to learn inner peace. His teachings and talents that he brings to Axis are a privilege to be a part of. Meditating with Mark is something that I miss dearly now that I am home.
After I detoxed I was taken out of the house every day. Whether it would be going to the movies, shopping, sight seeing or just a talk over coffee. And this is where my favorite councilors come in. Megan is a strong, intelligent, beautiful person. From day one she takes the time out and makes it a point to sit with each roommate and asks simple questions about how they are feeling, how their day is going, etc. Sometimes she takes out over an hour of her time to speak to us one on one. I had trouble opening up to a complete stranger, but after awhile I trusted her. The conversations I had with her were confidential and I finally learned to trust another human being. Something I haven't done in years. I know I can call Axis when Megan is working. She listens to my feelings and concerns and still guides me even though I'm no longer living in the home.
Johnny always comes in to Axis ready to go! His loud excited voice gets you going! He makes sure to ask everyone how they are feeling and he also goes out of way to get to know each of us on a one on one level. He always wants to take us out, so we can grow to be better in social gatherings, Something else I had trouble with. Going to the movies with him was always my favorite because just for a short while I would feel "normal" again. Just a bunch of friends going to the movies. His personal story is one to remember always. Somewhere I know he is proud of me, But I want him to know... I am also very proud of him.
To conclude, I am better now. I no longer take any pills for anything. I eat, sleep, and go out of the house happy. I am a good mother, wife, and friend again. I can watch tv with my family and laugh, I can read my daughter a story and tickle her goodnight. My anxiety is now gone and so is my insomnia.
Go to Axis if you need help. I promise that if you listen to what they say, surrender to your addiction at the door and be patient. You too will get your life back, but this time you won't be a prisoner of your addiction. No more checking the clock, hiding pills or bottles, and no more isolation. Just take it one day at a time.Make today your first day to change and call. My only regret is that I didn't call sooner.
To the staff of Axis, thank you for saving my life.
My name is Amber and I'm an alcoholic/addict. read more