Visit my bedroom, you'll get a real THRILL
You can bring the tuna and I'll provide the DILL
I like to use baby oil and do the windMILL
If you really please me, I'll put you in my WILL
But if we're talking chicken, I'll only pay the BILL
If it tastes so good it gives me a CHILL
You won't understand this ecstasy unTIL
You try Rotisserie at ALMAZA GRILL!
WHAT!
I came here looking to buy an Alpaca. After all, it's called Alpaca Grill. They don't sell any. False advertising. Ridic.
Still one of the very best restaurants in Western New York, some of the best value too, best chicken, best sides, not to be confused with my tremendous side b**ches, which are not as tremendous as Barbi.
What to get: Quarter/Half/Whole Chicken with Sides - Kofte too - incredible smoothies
Which sides: Babaghanoush, White or Yellow Rice, Beans, all amazing.
What else: I kneeled down in some Lebber, and now I have Lebber Knees.
Almaza is one of the best & most underrated restaurants in the region.
I came here looking for the Alhambra. But it's in Spain. Granada of all places. And no, it's not in St Vincent and the Granada-ines either. False advertising. WTF.
Sorry WNY, but some of these reviews are utter rubbish. Typical WNY (or anywhere these days) to get top notch 5 star affordable ethnic perfection and then slam it with moronic misinterpretations of the food and false assumptions so robust that they could be in porn without even taking viagra.
The Lebanese rotisserie chicken here is divine. Service is lovely, prices are pretty damn cheap for what you get (and how good it is). It's healthy, clean, spacious; a gorgeous spot for dining.
Mid-East rotisserie chicken is different from the Latin kind. Not better - similarly wonderful - but differently spiced and exciting. Only Niagara Cafe makes good (Puerto Rican) rotisserie in WNY. But now it has a true rival for taste. And the garlic sauce is a *must*.
And try a Smoothie! Not too sweet, refreshing, perfect! Kofte Kebab is excellent too, but start with the chicken.
People don't know it exists (still, scandalously), so get over here and discover it and be a pioneer. A poultry pioneer. Rather than a paltry pioneer which means you suck at Yelp pioneering and probably just try breweries that have 1,500 reviews already and eat their crappy $13 Duck Fat Fries that are served lukewarm.
Don't sleep on the sides - literally, you'll get crap all over yourself. The Babaghanoush: creamy, tasty & comes with bready Lebanese pita. Beans are even better. Spiced, wet, dark, hearty, healthy, wonderful. The salad is good Lebanese-style, but the rices are unmissable. Yellow rice has peas & olives in it. I love it. White rice has little Lebanese vermicelli noodles. It's moist & ridiculously tasty. Your main problem is which sides to skip. They're all ridic good.
Came here looking to get pasta "Aldente." They don't even do pasta... what the actual poop?
Rant time. As I said, it's always empty. Yet, they did everything right. Affordable prices. Lovely decor. Great service. Spectacular food. They even contacted Yelp to set up an event upon opening, I think. And despite all this, day after day, they're completely empty. Maybe "it's the location", it's tough for ethnic restaurants along Transit (just ask Grill Kabob), but nearby Zoe has bland overpriced Americanized awful Greek food that isn't Greek, yet is packed every day, and several clueless Yelpers think it's actually decent. Their fanboys are here writing low-star reviews of Almaza saying how much "better" Zoe is. Seems legit. I know employees and a chef at Zoe anyway and trust me, I wouldn't ever go near the place after my discussions with them.
Another rant: they were called "Taza" until a restaurant of that name in Cleveland threatened to sue. Why? Small business owners should stick together. But whatever.
But in summary, try the chicken, baba, garlic sauce, beans, both types of rice.
The food here is among the best of the region. But it may not last, and that's a miserable testament to E Amherst, to WNY, to all the regulars at Chipotle, Five Guys, Zoe or the newly-opened local chain D'Avolio nearby, which is good, but not Almaza level good. Have those regulars tried this place? Will they? If it closes down, will they care? Does anyone?
And I came to watch "Aljazeera", but they weren't showing it. Should have gone to "Aljazeera Grill."
If you sneeze in here, expect them to say "Almazeltov." I don't think they're Jewish, but when the chicken is this good, the Middle East doesn't need Peace Talks. It just needs a "Peace Meal." Not Piecemeal Bacon though, because that's pork, and, well, you know. This chicken'll make pacifists out of all of us.
Now let's finish with some rap...
Brazilians SAMBA
And sometimes eat GUAVA
Russians wear PARKA
And smuggle dat VODKA
Alanis did DOGMA
Cass Elliot was "MAMA"
Cobain was in NIRVANA
Shoulda quit & joined ABBA
(And recorded in a SAUNA)
I'm a b*tch, call me KARMA
High on MARIJUANA
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