Yo Dawg... Ya boy Spivey here. Me an Lester just flyin back from Las Vegas where we went to the international players ball. Sadly yall, cousin Lester lost again. It's his 10th loss. Also, he an Aquarius so his life just one big loss.
Y'all, we flew Allegiant air and you know what, the rumors are true... Greyhound bus line bought an airline and named it Allegiant. The cabin be so goddamn awful. The seat in front of you so close you gotta be careful not to pop a boner cuz you'll smack the person in front of you. It literally feel like you in a cheap ass lawn chair with yo auntie jasmina sitting on yo goddamn lap. Damn auntie Jas like to get goofy after a couple cocktails.
Anyways... this flight man. I mean, they cheap-ass like a mufucker, had to pay for a carry on... not a checked bag! A carry on! Oh and cousin Lester had to pay extra so he could have an aisle seat. He had to have an aisle seat cuz his IBS be actin up. He too goddamn fat to be gettin out of the window seat every 5 minutes. It's a real goddamn joy to fly with cousin Lester.
It was a real bumpy coming back into Reno and this dad and his boy was eatin a big o ass greasy burger and fries. The bumps... and the smell... oh and the stupid Kid spilled the damn fries all out in the aisle. The stewardess come by and just kicked them out the aisle then came back with a trash bag. She didn't say shit! The smell of them burgers got me sick to my goddamn stomach. Dad lookin like a low budget Alan Thicke and kid lookin like post crack addiction Willie Aames from Charles in Charge an shit. It's okay, cousin Lester left them a little contrail on his way back from the lavatory. Stankin ass cousin Lester. SMH.
I do gotta say, the stewardesses was nice on both flights. Nicer than the gottdamn weird ass Uber driver who took us to the wrong terminal at mccarran airport. Me and fat ass cousin Lester had to hoof it like a mufucka to make the flight. I tole cousin Lester not to wear his busted ass adidas slides! He all like, "Yo it make security easier!" I'm like, " Yo, TSA gonna see those nasty toe nails and put you on the no fly list." He don't care y'all! He just don't care!
I dunno... I guess all in all it wasn't bad. They were on time and Bruh... you still flyin above them clouds, you still gettin where you goin. Think of Allegiant air as the 97' Chevy Astro Van with fake rims of the skies. Cousin Lester say it cool so you got his seal of approval.
-Spivey read more