I cut the umbilical cord from the mothership and let myself float freely down the stream. I drifted across the street where the cats and I were plugging away at the American Spirit. I went into the 7-11 there and saw Barnabee for the first time in years. I grabbed a 12-pack from the display case and told him to bolt with it. "I'll meet you at St. Apolinaris and we'll drink 'em back.. okay?" He wasn't into it. I bought some beef jerky and a pack of Double Mint and went back outside. Everyone was sucking down cola slurpees and staring and laughing at the floating visions above the parking lot. I couldn't see these things yet because I was busy goofing around with the candy bars - These worthless bars of sugar had no nutritional regard - The monetary value came from name brand alone. For some reason, I had a handful of Skittles in the front pocket of my shirt. I went to the laundromat next door and tried to get a conversation going with the attendant. She was all business, counting coins and restocking soap for Sunday's big bath.
This was all at 5:15 PM on the first or second Saturday of January. The dusk light was just perfect for a freeze frame. It wasn't dark enough for head lamps, but every light that was lit was luminosity perfection. I grabbed the big camera out of the back of the Camry and took various snapshots. Soon the light disappeared and I felt like sleeping.... dreaming... taking on a big load of thought while my body rested on the frozen grass. I ate a chocolate bar and enjoyed the rest of the San Anselmo we scored from Aunt Julian earlier in the day.
I saw the first star and fixed my sights on it until it was no longer the loner. Its accompaniment further illuminated my solitude. I remember thinking that I wasn't alone, that perhaps someone else was there sharing the same thoughts. I stayed there in that moment as long as I could. I closed my eyes and stared into the eternal hyperdrive. The penguins were just there with the presence of three gods. I opened my eyes and I was in the 8-to-5 tent again - Time to get up and shave - Time to get up and fulfill someone else's dreams. The party was over. I am not a big believer in reality, but regardless, it came crashing in like the Kool-Aid Man intent on freezing the fluid stream of free thought. I thought back to that neutral point, how all and everything and anything and anyone and everyone danced in the gymnasium of abandonment... Was I the only one? read more