If this place were named after my reviews, they'd have to change it to "Waffling & D**k-jokes." I may be prone to verbal diatribe and childish humour (if you can call it humour), but at least I'm self-aware. Then again, they said Leopold of Belgium was self-aware, and that didn't help him much. Speaking of which, we did an online poll of "sexiest somewhat feminine actors" and Leo-polled highest. DiCaprio that is. So on with the review.
What to get: Liege Waffle with Spekuloos.
What the f*** is Spekuloos: It's when you can't find your glasses. Duh.
And what else: Well, the Spekuloos Ice Cream is pretty amazing too.
What's the difference between a Liege Waffle and the other kind?: Well, the other kind are good, but this one is in a Liege of its own.
But this is in America, not Belgium: I know. And much like 'Murca, if you don't like it, then why don't you liege.
If this place were frequented by ducks rather than humans, and was also really dirty inside, then it'd be called "Waddles & Dingy." Whereas if I had a bright idea (lightbulb switches on above my head, cartoon style) about time travelling, then it'd be "Wormholes & Ding!"
I won't go on and on about these waffles. I'll just tell you straight away: these are by far the best waffles I've ever had in the United States. I'm not a huge waffle fan, but when I go to Belgium, I fall in love with the taste of the dense, sticky, orgasmic Liege Waffles, perfected at Maison Dandoy in Brussels. Well these may not be on the MD level, but these are the closest thing you will ever find in North America, that's for sure. They taste a lot more Belgian than they do American, and that is a very, very good thing.
People ask why I'm so attracted to Borat. I think it was his "Onesies & Dimples." It must be that because it ain't his face. He's a tip drill.
Adding the Spekuloos just takes it through the roof. It's a Gingerbread Spread (think Nutella, but even more addictive), which comes - of course - from Belgium. Also known as Belgique (French) or Belgie (Flemish). Flemish is basically like Dutch, but a Belgian version of it. The country is split between the two languages. The French speakers are known as Walloons. But history and geography lessons aside, Belgium really does make the best waffles on earth, and these Liege Wafles with Spekuloos really are the closest thing to the real thing you can get over here.
If you're in a "linen cleaning contest" make sure you get the linens *absolutely* clean. Because if there's a tiny bit of dirt, even a little speck of dust, you lose. This concept is known as "Speck-u-lose."
Not only am I obsessed with them (and I'm not even a waffle fan), but everyone I've ever taken here, fell in love with them too. They're sticky and gooey and hot and sexy. They're heavenly and divine and delectable and filling too. You can split one with someone since they're heavy, and they're not too expensive either.
I'm not sure whether there are any illegal drugs in the Spekuloos. I'd rather not Spekulate.
As I said, get the amazing Spekuloos all over them, and be aware that they also have Spekuloos (Gingerbread) Ice Cream here which is absolutely divine as well. They're open extremely late (usually until 11 or Midnight or later, but it seems to vary and they do close a bit before the posted time). They're on a lovely little street corner in a cute part of Manhattan just north of Houston St and not far from Sunny & Annie's 24 Hour Korean Deli (which is amazing too - I just reviewed it).
Oh and you know that movie, Star Trek III: The Search For Spock? Well in Belgium, that movie was known as "Spock-u-lost."
If you come to Manhattan, you simply must make it a point to stop in here and try a Liege Waffle with Spekuloos. It may just be one of the best desserts you will ever consume in America.
If I have a whole bunch of girls asking to be spanked, then I'd rather save the best for last, honey. And since you're the best, that means I'm going to "Spankulast."
Wafles & Dinges. Get here. Be amazed.
Although if it were my 2 favourite things to get in back alleys in Chinatown, then it'd be "Won-Ton & D**k." Ooh I just turned myself on. read more