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Plans fell through, thought I'd go to one of my favorite places - Tiki Chick. Recently broke up with a really good person, someone who had become my best friend of almost three years. This couple sitting next to me starts to indiscreetly talk about me, or at least they seemed like it, I've been there before, people watching, someone in the group likes to gossip. Did i know them? They kept glancing. I must have had something on my face or something. I was minding my own business, checking emails from work, movie times for puss in boots tonight. Brother recommended it, I told myself no weed tonight, even though he recommended that too, pair it with the movie, thought some piña coladas and maybe a $5 crispy chicken sandwich would sub nicely. Loud. Good vibes, 70% full, everyone enjoying themselves. Put on my headphones. I asked for another piña colada and a stiki tiki chicken sandwich with pickles and ham and pineapple and this good spicy sauce. Stiki tiki, I said, that's kind of hard to say, like an idiot, and he looked at me like one. Few minutes go by, the bartender who had some brown leather rock-climbing harness-contraption for an apron caught hold of a mango purée bottle towards the ground, pointing eyes, headphones in, eyebrows up, noise-cancelled music, telepathy to him, look at what you're doing, don't drag it to the ground. It fell and hit the ground, nothing broke, he cushioned it well enough, he picked it up and rinsed it quickly but not that thoroughly. Apathetic, maybe exhausted. He never thanked me. He also forgot about my second piña colada, so I asked for it again about seven minutes later, when it was very clear that he would rather imagine he was someplace else than at work. Somehow he didn't miss the sandwich though which came before the drink. He was filling water bottles looking off into the distance, longing to do something other than warm the the hands he was sitting on, which wasn't sanitary either. Would have taken him less than a minute to pull the lever into a cup and add the prepped cherry/pineapple garnish. I was a waiter, I'm low maintenance when it comes to hospitality, sometimes I even make friends, never have written or even been inspired to write a yelp review. I started looking at the happy couple again and all of a sudden, there are other places in the room to look. Maybe I'm paranoid. I don't have time for this. I stared for a few seconds. Quarter-zipped pear, depressed tits and red receding hairline said something under his breath to the only girl miserable enough to endure his ED and hang out with his family for three years until here we are, no promotions yet, but doing the bare minimum. I should have engaged. Can i help you? Do you want me to join you two? Are you two talking about me? Are you that bored and insecure that you have nothing else to talk about anymore except for some stranger at a bar, some guy sitting alone? Care to share with the class? Your dad from Connecticut? You're in accounting, he taught you everything? And you, delta-delta, you major in philanthropy? Is that your real hair color? You both met in college? He said something else, snuck another glance: I nodded, thought hard, waited until he was done talking, puffed out my lips like I never thought about that before. He waited, echoed, said something and vaguely nodded too. We were monkeys. I wasn't even finished with my second drink. I asked for the check, another comment, I stared right at them and again the room became more interesting to look at. No more glances. They were embarrassed. I waited to see if they'd look at me. Almost done with my drink. She looked up for a second, we made eye contact, she thought something and looked back down. Not a lot to say now. Maybe they were underage, no ID's were bing checked. Weird, petty vibes tonight. Nodded again. Signed, put on my coat, that's enough of the drink, stepping out popped an emergency edible anyway, and on my way, last glances, we could have had fun, out the door, as I was walking away, they were still watching me cross the street, so I waved up high, hi, bye, facing them, walking sideways and away. He kept watching, maybe his eyes got bigger. There were four other dreamless, plump gingerbread nepotists, two units, almost identical (except for the dude with the 70's-dad-buzz & mustache combo with the 90's-windbreaker vibe), who are all either betrothed or already married with the best-laid plans, and who are all probably trying to have kids. The gift that keeps on giving. It's not you it's me, I never got a bid! Just c'mon man, don't you have a bid to spare? I've never been more turned off at a bar. If you're a couple that matches the description at tiki chick 9:00pm on the last Tuesday of January 2023, I hope work is miserable for you tomorrow, like it probably is every day anyway, don't procreate. My dad can beat up your dad. Really cool place, though! Puss'n boots was pretty good too! read more