What DID I walk into?!? I'm sorry, but the worst advert of all for using sunbeds is a bottle raven-haired orange toothpick who obviously idolises a certain ex Mrs Andre.
I'm speaking out of turn, I'm sorry. I just wasn't quite prepared for the tangerine sinewy arms, puffed up lips and overuse of liquid liner. That, my friend, was not why I was requesting a sunbed. THAT is not my intention, my goal. Nope, having unexpectedly found that I was visiting Mallorca, I thought my pasty skin might need a little UV exposure so that it didn't go into a state of catatonic shock when I actually walked out under the searing Balearic sun. This state is known as prickly heat to most. Now let's remember, I am not condoning sunbeds. This was last June and I have long since given the blighters up. But occasionally you out there in the Yelping community may wish to bronze under the purple light of a giant canister, and for that, please don't visit The Tanning Shop.
The reason I'd popped in here was because I'd been turned away at Bannatyne's, as explained in my Bannatyne's review. Thus, I spotted this on Cross Street and wandered in. To my right was a row of tanning booths. You know, just the booths. The canisters. The ones that you usually walk into AFTER you've taken off your clothes in the PRIVACY of the CHANGING ROOM which surrounds it. But this was... just a row. Of canisters.
Overlooking this momentarily I turned to my left, and there was my Jordan who immediately asked if I had an appointment.
Apologies, I'm used to the soggy world of Achieve Fitness where you just walk in and bake yourself for a few minutes.
Err, okay, I know Cross Street is pretty central, but an appointment for tanning? That's just insane. There were a good few booths, maybe if they just had a waiting area it would solve the appointment-making conundrum. Anyway, I soon decided this wasn't the place for me. Whether it was Jordanalike herself, whether it was my absolute puzzlement over what we do with our clothes (take them off IN the booth? Stand on them?), whether it was the sheer terrible logistics of the place whereby they seem to have overlooked the small size of the shop itself, I don't know. The point is, I'm glad I don't have to deal with this rigmarole any more. Thanks to the likes of that Girls Aloud chick and wotserface Twilight lady and her from Florence and the Machine, pale's becoming increasingly fashionable and we should probably follow suit. Either that or just use Jordanalike as an anti-tanning warning. Should do the trick.
(Edit - after reading Sarah Anne's review I've bumped it up a star because obviously the spray-tanning contingent is top notch.) read more