Okay. I do love my friends who perform drag and burlesque here, and I'm glad there is a place for them. But I have to be real. Not a fan of the racism I encounter time and time again.
Last time, the white male bartender just kept ignoring me, the only PoC at his end of the bar. The white fratty-looking dudes who elbowed their way next to me, (also apparently here for the Beyoncé night with their gfs) were the ones who got his attention.
The PoC bartender tho? They/she looked like they took him aside, talked to him, then took my order after what felt like FOREVER trying to get this man's attention, with him instead putting all the other white patrons before me. The PoC bartend took over & let me order, which made me feel like crying with relief. I looked at the white group right in their eyes...all who saw me and cut in, confidently knowing this bartender would choose them. There has to be a code of conduct, right? Nope...just smirks back.
If I wanted to be real cynical, I would say it's a grift between staff that preys on the vulnerabilities of PoC in a predominantly white Upstate/CNY town to finally be seen with any modicum of respect after being treated as lesser...because I tipped generously for being treated like I deserved to be there. But I refuse to believe QPoC would do this to their own. And the PoC bartender seemed genuinely real, and for that, I really appreciate what they do, looking out for their fellow PoC in the space. But from where I stand, it looks exhausting to have this as a whole second job of looking after PoC and educating white coworkers on top of the actual job...I know the feeling. It's the Ithaca experience.
I do have to appreciate the queer white femmes who DID treat me with kindness & grace, giving me space, letting me approach the bar to tip the PoC bartender who takes my order almost every time. The one whom I believe saw how awful I was being treated and swooped in to look out. They even told the bartender I was leaving extra tips for them. They are the allies we need in these spaces! I appreciate them.
But yeah...the tall white AFAB femme drag performer who was a drag child of my white AMAB colleague...I did not appreciate how they treated me (an AFAB femme PoC) like a predator for buying him a drink. I felt less than human, and felt disgusting being treated to a buffet of the twisted type of racialized microagressions only white queer folks can deliver. It made me never want to return. And I didn't for a long time, even when I tore it up so much on the dance floor that Spirit Posse gave me swag. The PoC of this space make it humane.
But that same night...I saw a white woman inappropriately grope a Black person performing on stage. They had to remind her about consent, which they likely made a regular thing because of how often it happens at Thursgays.
I didn't see her at the last couple ones when I returned to go back to supporting friends who perform...but they really need to do better to make this space safer and less stressful to exist in as a PoC. It's not worth me being the "Duke"
of this joint if I can't relax and enjoy the show, the drinks, or the dance floor. They may not be the Trump flag waving folks 30 mins away, but this is a Get Out flavor of distress I don't think makes it worth return visits. read more