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    The King William IV

    3.3 (3 reviews)
    Open 12:00 pm - 11:00 PM

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    Visage - Cocktails (except martinis) and Dreams

    Visage

    2.0(1 review)
    3.1 miGants Hill

    My boss had had a few and for some inexplicable reason suggested we go…read moreto this bar for a few more drinks. I informed him that I would be the oldest person in there by 20 years and he would be the oldest by 40 years and that would have been true had there been anyone else there. But no. To be fair it was 8pm on a Thursday night and the Faces crowd don't usually turn up for a couple more hours so I don't think that's typical. But anyway... Once my eyes had got accustomed to the retina-burning neon pink and blue decor I sat at the bar to choose my drink. It's a cocktail bar, what better than a martini right? Ummmm, no. The 12 year old barman said 'sorry we don't do martinis, we don't have any vermouth'. This is like going to a sushi bar and them saying 'sorry no fish' - genuine WTF moment right there. So I had a bellini in a plastic champagne glass. The boss expressed some surprise at this but I told him it's probably for the best when your clientele is the 'quantity over quality, belligerent binge-drinker' type. The last thing you need when you dare to look at someone funny in the girl's toilets is for them to have a dangerous weapon in hand. I also had a cosmopolitan. In a plastic martini glass. With a straw so you can get it down your neck quicker. Awesome. We decided to leave having been there for an hour with no further patrons walking through the door. But don't listen to me - if you're 18, sporting five inch heels and a mahogany spray tan and are looking to get liquored up in order to bag a footballer then this is the place for you. I will say one thing though. I'm old enough to remember the 80s FIRST TIME ROUND and nothing was this '80s' even then. I mean check out the sign! It should say 'Cocktails (except martinis) and Dreams'. And I can't give a good score to a bar that plays Phil Collins. I'm off to the pub for a gin and tonic IN A PROPER GLASS.

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    The King William IV - pubs - Updated May 2026

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