this is a story about me and my dislike for chocolate.
So I have to start off saying the only reason I came to this place was because I got to experience a box of free chocolates through YELP elite.
I know I read all the reviews on this place and cackled because...
No chocolate could be that damn good..
but... after slide up there to get my free box of chocolates... Well now...
... I feel like I've been eating chocolate-flavored spam my whole life, and then suddenly someone handed me a Filet Mignon -- from a cow that only ate organic grass,
did yoga at sunrise,
and lived a stress-free life on a remote Swiss alp where yodeling was the only noise pollution.
I am forever changed by this experience at Royce' Chocolate.
Now, let me be honest --
the level of disorientation & mass f@ckery I experienced trying to find this place?
Top-tier chaos.
I was so lost I think I passed through four alternate realities.
But was it worth it?
Oh, absolutely.
USE THE DIRECTORY. Ask everyone. Ask the janitor.
Ask a plant.
Just get there.
The store itself is tiny,
but like... in a chic, "mini Apple Store, but for chocolate" kind of way.
And the ladies who greeted my brother and me? SO SWEET
Like... Willy Wonka could never.
They were so warm, kind, and welcoming I half-expected a camera crew to pop out like,
"Surprise! You're on a feel-good prank show where people are actually... nice!"
But no.
That's just how they are.
And here's the wild part -- they knew exactly why I was there.
I came for the free box of chocolate, okay? I'm not even gonna lie.
But did they just toss me the box and send me packing?
NOPE.
They hit me with samples. Knowledge.
Chocolate enlightenment.
They said, "Let's expand your palate, sweetheart." And I tasted everything.
and like I said iont actually like chocolate. When I do, it's usually white chocolate -- and let's be honest, it's the bargain-bin kind.
Like, raggedy white chocolate Kit Kat bar that's 90% sugar and regret.
And I really came because I wanted to prove a point that this expensive fine chocolate was gonna be just like all the rest of them... A gimmick wrapped in designer packaging.
But this? THIS?!
Chiiiiiiillllleeeeeeeeee.
I tasted whiskey chocolate.
Matcha chocolate.
A cookie that made me question my life choices.
Salted chocolate chip. Strawberry fruit bar.
Even fancy white chocolate that didn't taste like a melted candle.
But it was that damn cookie that really made me wanna go meditate on the grass and figure out a new way to live... And a new way to be...
Now here's where it gets dangerous.
I will never look at a Kit Kat the same again. Reese's Pieces? Dead to me. Snickers? Delete my number.
I just had real chocolate and I don't need y'all no more!!!
That COOKIE
lordy lordy....
Yeah. That cookie was so good I would've slapped somebody else's mama just to get another one.
(Not my own. She'd knock me into next week. But you get the point.)
Now that I've been inducted into the chocolate elite, I don't know if I can go back to my peasant candy ways.
For my 40th birthday next year, I'm asking for three things:
1. Money
2. Better credit
3. Chocolate from this place.
Royce', you've got my full respect, my full joy, and my full stomach.
This was a five out of five experience -- and I don't throw those around lightly.
The dopest part of this whole experience was watching them package of the candy and put it in an insulated bag with a little pack of ice so that like chocolate could stay cool to keep the consistency during travel... Now that is a level of finery, that I have never experienced which told me I have never had real chocolate before....
I never bought a piece of chocolate from CVS and A packaged it up with the mini dry ice and a cooler before!
Major shout out YEE fam for putting me on.
And the BIGGEST shoutout to the three lovely ladies at Royce' -- sweet, kind, professional, and absolute queens of chocolate hospitality.
my experience here was so incredible. I had to do two reviews one from my yelp elite experience and wanted just to shout out the business on the regular page because people need to know that this is the kind of chocolate that will either save your life or destroy you slowly with addiction.
I will be back. And next time, I'm bringing a cooler. read more