To all of you who shipped with Pitney Bowes, we are sorry. This message was written by Pitney Bowes, but delivered by a third party, but it was the same day as opposed to two months late, or never happening.
(From a Pitney Bowes representative)
Dear Pitney Bowes customers, we would like to sincerely apologize. We don't take responsibility for poor service, we are just incompetent. Two months ago, I loaded a gift for my mentally disabled (it must run in the family) daughter for Christmas. I know I brought it home, but couldn't find it. Turns out it was in my car the whole time. Like the staff here at Pitney Bowes, I don't remember ever loading it, or getting it for that matter. Did I create the training program? Hmmm. I don't remember. Anyway, I see a lot folks saying they ordered from ADIDAS. Unfortunately for you, that's who supplies our uniforms (ADIDAS wind suits and turtle shell shoes, don't ask where we get our gold chains from) so we get those packages mixed up and well,sometimes (every time) it's easier to just not repackage and send ADIDAS customers their stuff.
As for the rest of you, we just can't stand the uncertainty of what is in each package. We NEED to know. It's like Christmas every day around here. You all order some pretty neat things. Jerry found a bag one time. It had a little hose on it where you hook up something called a catheter. He fills it up with vodka every morning. Also, Jerry is a supervisor in charge of making sure all boxes are opened, inspected, and that the contents aren't dangerous. You guys have great taste. Sorry your stuff doesn't get to you all the time. We really like it.
We also understand that items tend to make it all the way across the country just to be sent back to its original location. Turns out Jerry's cousin Jerry works at another facility and guess what! He also found a bag with a hose on it. I guess you can figure out what he does with it.
In conclusion, I hope we answered all the questions everyone had for us. And thanks for all the cool stuff.
Sincerely,
Jerry read more