Where do I start. We queued up outside to be told to be told to find our own table and then we had…read moreto order via an awkward app that charged for sending in the order.
We ordered a pint of lager, a glass of prosecco, 6 oysters; a whole lobster with chilli and chorizo, a prawn and lobster roll and because the app wasn't clear, extra chips and a side salad.
The £6 pint of warm lager and £8 glass of cheap prosecco came with and in plastic glasses. This was the highlight of our meal.
There was no lobster detectable in the lobster and prawn roll and the prawns were almost frozen. The chips were damp and arrived in a paper tray; these are not twice cooked potato sticks of excellence, these tasted straight from the freezer to the fryer. My girlfriend wanted some ketchup to go on the damp chips, but it needs to be ordered via the app at 20p per sachet plus ordering fee. The bill at this point was North of £80 and they want 25p for sauce sachets. The salad was a limp, uninteresting mix of lettuce and cucumber with an unpleasant gloopy vinaigrette over it. The £37 lobster arrived and it was small, dried out and tough. I didn't even know it was possible to dry out a lobster while cooking it, perhaps it had been split lying under a heat lamp for half an hour. The oysters hadn't arrived.
I'd had enough. So I called over a waitress. I explained my lobster was dry and tough and the oysters hadn't arrived. She literally just shrugged, that's it, nothing else. We asked if we could see the manager. A young man came over and asked with a surly, aggressive manner what the problem was. I explained that the lobster was dry and actually tough and he almost sneered "do you want another one or a refund?". No apology, no sorry, just a replacement or refund offer. I asked for the refund. I then went on to ask when the oysters were coming. To which he responded that the food delivered in whatever order it came out of the kitchen. I explained that I'm fine with this but the starter shouldn't arrive after dessert has arrived or one has left the restaurant. Instead of an apology what I got was a defiant "I've got three people shucking oysters" Which he had, at that moment, for 25 of the previous 30 minutes it was one guy working on his own. I could see him from my table. This is a case of the manager thinking that his problems should be mine when in fact my problems should be his. I am after all, the one paying for the service that he is failing to deliver with a bad attitude.
I didn't mention any of the other issues with the food as the angry manager just didn't seem interested customer satisfaction or service. He left our table instructing me to go to the counter and ask for a refund before we left. My oysters must have been prioritised as they arrived on a plastic tray five minutes later. I ate the oysters which tasted nice, but had their revenge on me half an hour after we left, which was surprising as I can eat anything without issue. Perhaps there's something in the old saying about only eating shellfish when there is an R in the month. Neither of us needed to use the toilets when we were there, which is great because you need to queue outside for them. We left the Lobster Shack with the chips, salads and lobster uneaten on the table; the table service here is just delivery and clear up after you have left.
All over we had an appalling experience. Even after the refund I'd ended up spending £45 for some warm drinks, half a dozen oysters and a prawn bun. It could have been turned around with a polite, friendly apology of some sort. So often what could have been a poor experience is saved by good staff who understand customer service. They don't here.
The location is great, the building is great it has the ambience of a West Coast surf bar. That's where the good stuff stops. The barely existent service is surly and . unpleasant, the food awful and awfully expensive. Warm drinks in plastics cups. This is not a West Coast surf bar.
I can't imagine it gets any business from locals, it's a place tourists go, regret and never return to. I certainly won't be going again and I've been eating at the parent restaurant, the Whitstable Oyster Fishery Company for 30 years.
