Well, I created a Yelp account for this review, please be warned.
Bottom line - don't go.
This was not a massage, it was a rub with an exorbitant amount of oil. I have attached a picture of the bottle so you can see how much was used.
The masseuse had zero technique and never used his fingers to press into my muscles. He just spent the entire hour rubbing my body with open palms, as if the service was to be oiled up instead of massaged. He rubbed parts of my body that felt uncomfortable and intimate. I left feeling intruded upon and confused.
Here is the whole story:
I received a Groupon for my birthday and was excited to be getting a massage. I was prepared to pay the (required) tip after receiving an email detailing the tip amounts and how to access the building, which is no frills.
I think my masseuse was John, but I have no idea because he never introduced himself.
I entered the room which was in fine condition, nothing special. There was classical music playing, everything seemed fine. He asked me if there was any problem areas and I told him my right side was hurting me.
He leaves, I undress, and lay on my back, chest facing the ceiling like he instructed. (I thought this was weird because my experience of more than 10 professional massages I always start laying on my stomach to get my back massaged).
I attempt to clear my mind of all the yelp reviews I had read, hoping that the 1 star reviews were over exaggerations and the 5 star reviews should be trusted (this could be you!).
He enters and turns off the lights, he sits down and gets his massage oil out (this is key). He puts a lot of massage oil on his hands and sort of sloshes it around, rubbing it all over (to be honest it sounds like lube). He then starts rubbing my chest (right above my boobs), my arms, and my neck. The chest was okay, though he spent about 10 minutes on it. The part that felt really weird is that he kept rubbing the front of my neck back and forth, it felt really vulnerable and scary. He also massaged my arms and they were underneath the sheets, so he was going underneath the sheets to rub all the way down my arms which were pressed against my body. He also rubbed my back almost all the way down to my butt so he would sandwich his hands underneath me and sort of push me off the table to get his hands underneath me.
This lasted about 15 minutes.
Then he keeps going and starts to touch my stomach. He is sitting above me so he reaches his arm over my shoulder, down to my lower stomach and touches my pelvic bone, hip, and the soft lower part of my stomach. This happens once and I say nothing... second time I say "I actually don't want my stomach touched"
This is when it dawns on me that all those 1 star reviews were correct and this was a very bad mistake.
He rubs my legs and flips me over, he exposes the entire half of my body from my foot up to my neck, so I am split in half lengthwise with the sheet. It is sort of tucked into my butt crack and under my boob. He proceeds to just rub his oily hands up and down my body. Not stopping to massage a specific muscle or area. Just up and down and up and down, replenish oil, up and down up and down. He would sort of cup my butt on the way down, it was definitely not my hip region he was touching. He then puts the sheet over me and sort of pats my body with it and soaks up some of the oil.
Repeats the same "technique" on the other side.
The massage is finally over, I put on my clothes, give him the 20 dollar tip and bolt.
The weirdest part was that he used SO MUCH OIL. It was like he was tenderizing me. (please see the picture I attached, this bottle used to be full!). read more