I'll get to my review ... but first a story.
So a couple of years ago, I'm dating this guy and after about six martinis, he tells me he really has a thing for dominatrices. I liked him, he had a cool car and I'm an adventurous kind of girl, so I smiled and listened.
Turns out he loves chicks in leather, ridiculously high heels and women that boss him around while he performs routine cleaning chores around the house.
My kind of guy.
Easy enough, I thought. My bathroom needs cleaning, I've got a closet full of too-tall heels, I own more than my fair share of leather pants and the bossiness thing ... well ... ladies ... you get that. No problem.
The only issue was that I quickly discovered that guys like this are VERY picky about their fetishes. A little bit of leather wasn't going to be enough. He wanted me to be clad head to toe in the stuff, ala Dita Von Teese.
But where to go?
Being a newbie to this whole scene, I remembered the Noir Leather ads in the Metro Times. Place seemed like the perfect fit for my nefarious intentions. After all, I had been hearing people whisper "Noir" for years, but had never actually checked it out.
So I made my way into Noir Leather, ready to slap down that Mastercard to look like Dita. No price tag would get in my way. It was all or nothing. I had a guy that would clean my toilet with a tooth brush, after all, so that was motivation enough.
To say I was let down is an understatement.
Yes, I give Noir credit for offering fetish and BDSM gear locally before it was cool to post on Yelp that you were looking for it, but the quality and selection just wasn't there. In subsequent years, I've come to appreciate what my then-beau was after and have found it, but unfortunately, it wasn't in Royal Oak ... or with him.
The selection was limited, the displays were dusty, the quality was ho-hum, and it lacked most of the "edge" I expected when I entered.
At first -- being a complete beginner -- I thought this is what fetish shops are like. But after seeking out some other fetish stores during business trips to San Francisco, Atlanta and NY, I realized that PVC and dusty chokers alone don't make for good fetish gear. The Internet has really changed availability and expectations now, and Noir hasn't really kept pace with this. So these days, when I want a little leather or rubber in my wardrobe, I'm more apt to go online to Westward Bound or eBay (yes, eBay.) I have a women on eBay that makes me handmade, custom-fit , killer leather corsets and dresses for under $400. Noir just can't match that.
I noticed that the Noir website now seems to be focusing on Rock 'n Roll and punk clothing. They definitely learn toward the goth aesthetic, which probably helps them move studded belts with teenagers. But if you're looking for luxury-level fetish wear, I don't see Noir fitting the bill. People who are into fetish fashion want quality, and will generally pay for it. Most of Noir's apparel, I'm sorry to say, can be found at Lovers Lane ... and for about the same price.
It's a shame, because I definitely like the idea of having a local place to fit this niche. Fetish-y fashion can work outside of the privacy of your own home, but only if the stuff is very high quality. Simply being one of the area's first and only fetish and alternative apparel stores only gets you so far. You have to have the the goods to back it up.
One thing I do want to give Noir a lot of credit for is their continued participation in the community. They are always out there, and their ads still rock, even if they don't always have the product to back them up. So I give them points for their longstanding enthusiasm, and willingness to be on the fringe, before the fringe became fashionable.
At some point you just want a good corset and cat ' o nine tails. Unfortunately, I never found that at Noir and had to get something custom-made online from my measurements. For a few months, my house was spotless thanks to fetish boy, and I got turned on to some non-local leather designers that got me the look I was going for.
I just wish I could have found the same at Noir. read more