I came from Mass with a friend to check this place out for the first time. Woonsocket is an interesting old, albeit fairly depressed old mill town on the Blackstone River. The few passing cars hinted at the staggering poverty in the area. The dam on the river across the street was pretty (except for the tire resting on a rock below in the river below the falls). Parking is abundant.
New York Lunch is a charming, compact throwback to the 1960s with Rexall-style counter seating with a view of hundreds of stacked, bagged hot dog buns and a crowd of small, orange wieners turning on a rolling wiener grill. There's also a cozy dining room with booth seating. We chose the dining room, which was really nicely decorated with photos and memorabilia from times past. The whole place appeared to be clean. There were a few other diners.
Our waiter was an easy-going, down-to-earth and gregarious guy, clearly proud of this venerable establishment. He suggested the House Favorite, the Three All-Around - three wieners with "meat sauce", mustard, onions and celery salt. Fries or onion rings. We chose the fries. Soon, we were presented with our lunches on white paper plates.
The wieners were unappetizing to look at. The buns were untoasted white bread. I assumed they'd be toasted or grilled, the way they are up in Boston. The buns, which were normal size, were too big for the little wieners. The dogs, only peeking out at the ends, were that strange, dull burnt orange color I'd noticed on the grilling apparatus. Only, seen up close, the color was even less appealing, and the dogs were very small and skinless, with no plumpness. Not good signs. I was hoping for "snap", and based on their appearance, these dogs promised to lack any kind of snap.
The chopped onions were on top, and looked to be parboiled to soften their flavor. Under the onions, I could see what had to be the "meat sauce". It was an unappealing shade of brown, with a chili-like consistency. I saw no mustard. It must have been the first condiment applied. (I would have squirted it over the "meat sauce" in a colorful curlicue, but apparently, no such thought of an attractive presentation occurred to the management).
Our drinks and the small paper baskets of fries were brought to us with a friendly warning, "Be careful, these are hot!" So, with our drinks (a Diet Coke and a bottled water), and a bit of friendly banter with our host before he departed to let us "Enjoy!", I tried to muster some faux enthusiasm to do just that. I tasted the fries. They were cooked a little darker than medium color and crisp. As advertised, they were hot. A tad greasy, but a little ketchup from the big Heinz bottle on the table made them greasy-spoon yummy. I wished the fries order was bigger. I would have happily eaten my fill of just fries. The hot dogs had to taste better than they looked. After all, this is a decades old, "World Famous" hot dog place!
Dear God. They SUCK. I wanted to spit it out, but since I wasn't raised in a barn, I forced myself to ultimately eat two of the three wieners on my paper plate, out of pure politeness.
No part of the hot dog was hot. At best, it was lukewarm. NO SNAP. The bun was cold. It had an ever so slightly clay-like texture and was completely devoid of any flavor. Inside, the hot dog was a peach color, like flesh-toned particleboard, and tasted like it, too. It was dry, and had a sawdust-like texture. If it had any flavor of its own, it was entirely lost under the bland and granular "meat sauce". I wasn't at all sure that there was any meat in the wiener. I decided that it may be made of cornmeal.
I couldn't help but wonder what was in their porridge-textured "meat sauce", but Alpo came to mind. I forbade myself from speculating further.
I could neither see or taste any mustard.
The last thing I noticed was an unexpected, mildly astringent, almost chemical aftertaste. Celery salt. I had forgotten the mention of celery salt among the "All-Around" toppings. It had a rancid taste, and yet, more grittiness. It was like that of something your mother might tell you never to put in your mouth. The onions on top had been pre-cooked to soften their flavor. This added culinary measure worked a bit too well; The onions were rendered fully wilted, and all but entirely flavorless.
For my next unwanted bite, finding no mustard with which to doctor it, I squirted the aforementioned Heinz Ketchup all over my lunch in an effort to make it more palatable. It was a most unpleasant experience to now consume the rest of this and a second wiener, so as not to hurt the feelings of the proud waiter.
Two stars, one for the really cool ambiance and one for the super-friendly staff.
Save yourself the trip, or if you're nearby, not terribly hungry and really bored, go, but just get fries and maybe their famous Rhode Island coffee milk. The wieners were actually the worst I've ever had, or even ever imagined possible. read more