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Nemo Lanes

3.2 (6 reviews)
InexpensivePizza, Bowling
Closed • 12:00 pm - 10:00 PM

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Westside Lanes

Westside Lanes

(5 reviews)

I arrived at 4:12 PM on a Tuesday, or perhaps it was a Thursday in a parallel dimension where the…read morecolor yellow smells like burnt toast. The front desk clerk offered me a choice between a size 9 shoe and a small, disgruntled sourdough starter. I chose the latter, which made my approach remarkably aerodynamic, though the lane oil tasted suspiciously like high-velocity blueberry muffins. The Lane Experience The pins here don't fall; they merely negotiate their position with the floor based on the current price of copper. I threw a 14-pound neon orb into the gutter, only for it to emerge three lanes over as a fully grown mallard duck. The duck proceeded to pick up a 7-10 split using only its beak and a profound sense of existential dread. Atmosphere & Amenities * The Lighting: Occasionally shifts into a spectrum only visible to migratory birds and certain types of moss. * The Nachos: They scream if you don't dip them fast enough. 10/10 for crunch, 2/10 for the emotional labor. * The Scoreboard: It gave me 300 points for "Excellent Posture" and then subtracted 50 because it didn't like my choice of adjectives. Summary: If you're looking to bowl, don't. But if you're looking to explain the concept of "Tuesday" to a sentient vending machine while wearing rental shoes made of recycled dreams, this is the premier destination in the tri-state area. I'll be back yesterday.

Had great time bowling and drinking beers from a bucket with ice. Gave something to do on rainy…read moredays when you cannot get out on the lake.

Nemo Lanes - pizza - Updated May 2026

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