My wife and I stayed at the Holiday Inn Express in Marshall, Michigan, for two nights in October…read more2026 among a large group of people attending a wedding nearby. On Oct. 10, at around 3:45 p.m., I saw this straggly looking guy -- no judgment, but his hair was pretty, pretty, pretty straggly, and he had sort of a Willie Nelson look to him -- trying to get into my brother's room, 311. (I won't give away his identity, but let's call my brother "Jungle Joe.")
Willie Nelson Jr. had a key card and was swiping it at the keypad to get into the room, but as I was passing by in the hallway, I saw him and said, "Hey, dude, 311 is my brother and sister-in-law's room but they're not in there, and they're definitely staying over tonight after the wedding."
So Willie Jr. and his party -- he was with a woman and a child -- had to be convinced that the hotel had given him the wrong room, but not after he said, "Well I'm about to WAKE HIS ASS UP!" -- ostensibly by barging into Jungle Joe's room that I had just told him was occupied. (C'mon, Willie, settle down a bit, this ain't the Ritz Carlton.)
My wife and I were in a rush to get to the wedding but went to the front desk with Willie Jr. and told the desk attendant what happened in that Willie Jr. was trying to get into Jungle Joe's room, 311, which they had booked for at least two nights including that Saturday night. We left and I guess Willie Jr. got a new room. I saw him the next day in the lobby, and he didn't say shit to me -- I mean, he could have at least hummed a few bars of "On the Road Again."
Later that night, in my room, 304, well after midnight, my wife -- let's call her "Lady Di" -- and I were just falling asleep when we were startled by someone who opened our door, turned on a light, closed the door, and left as it banged shut loudly. This was unsettling, so I got up, looked down the hallway and did not see anyone, then called down to the front desk. The attendant said it was he who had opened the door, but it turns out that was not true, as in IT WAS FALSE, FAKE NEWS, CONTRARY TO THE FACTS, ETC.
Were we staying at the Overlook Hotel? Was Jack Nicholson about to barge in and say, 'Here's Johnny!"
After speaking with the desk attendant on the phone, he admitted he had given a key to Room 304 to newly arriving guests because the hotel's system said Room 304 was VACANT. Well, Room 304 was not vacant -- Lady Di and I were in there, and we were not happy with this situation because our PRIVACY had been violated and OUR SAFETY put at potential risk. Lady Di, in fact, WAS SERIOUSLY PISSED! And she had a right to be. This had never, ever, happened to us -- NEVER, EVER. As in, WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED.
I went to the front desk to speak to the attendant, a young guy who seemed fairly new and a bit rattled by the situation, but he was serious and apologetic, so let's call him "Earnest." I told Earnest to call the general manager about this, and he did and left a message on her phone, but Earnest said it was very late and the GM was unlikely to respond.
In the morning, I discussed the situation with the new desk attendant, who said that somehow my reservation and Jungle Joe's reservation had gotten mixed up in their system and showed that we were in 311 and that 304 was vacant. We were not in 311, Jungle Joe and my sister-in-law were. And 304 was not vacant -- we were in there! -- so this made no sense.
Later, the GM arrived, and we presented her with these facts and asked her to comp us our room for one night, which she refused. "I can't comp a room," she said, which anyone with half a brain knows is NOT TRUE. A hotel general manager can't comp a room after the guests had been startled in the middle of the night by a stranger entering their room? This is General Managing 101, woman! And the desk attendant said, "This happens sometimes."
Really? It happens sometimes that another guest unlocks your hotel door at 1:30 a.m., walks in, flips on a light, then slams the door shut and leaves? Do you think we are stupid? Do I look stupid to you? I might not have been born on Einstein Avenue, but I am pretty intelligent -- smart enough to know that this kind of shit does not happen sometimes, unless maybe this is the norm in Marshall Fucking Michigan.
So the GM says that all she can do is give us $50 off our bill and 1,000 extra IHG points. (Woo-hoo! One-thousand IHG points? Let's have a party with that! I think that is equivalent to a $5 gift card to Kroger's, so dinner's on me tonight, folks!) She also would not give us the hotel owner's name and suggested we go up the ladder to IHG, which I will be doing shortly. Oh, and Mr. You Assumed I Have Half a Brain here found out the owner's LLC name with a simple Google search. It's 2026, Mrs. GM Lady, so that was not so fucking difficult to do.
Long story short: Don't stay at the Holiday Inn Express in Marshall Fucking Michigan unless the owner finds competent management and fixes the reservation system.