1. Michaels Funeral Home

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Schaumburg, IL

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Michaels Funeral Home

4.8 (5 reviews)
Open • Open 24 hours

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Ahlgrim & Sons Funeral And Cremation Services - Lobby

Ahlgrim & Sons Funeral And Cremation Services

(11 reviews)

Jason was very professional and empathetic after a little awesome my loved one. He is a very caring…read moreand compassionate person. Made me feel comfortable during this very difficult time.

We had a terrible experience with Jim after the loss of our 17 month old daughter. It was like…read morepulling teeth for him to give us a catalog with a greater variety of keepsake items and urns than what was on display. He gave us THREE options of urns for our baby, when asked about other urns on display he seemed annoyed and said he could check to see if they came in a smaller size. When selecting keepsake items I really wanted earrings and a bracelet in rose gold; however the catalog only offered yellow or white gold. It wasn't until my husband asked for him to call and see if rose gold was an option that Jim annoyingly did and it turns out it was. My husband and I also discovered the catalog he gave us for keepsake items also had other urn options in it. Then came time for payment...Jim wanted us to pay when we picked up the items, I asked to pay for them right away. I've never seen someone so irritated to be paid such a large amount of money. Apparently adding up all of the items was too much work for him. After leaving the funeral home it dawned on me that he never even mentioned an obituary. We had to reach out to ask about this. It took multiple emails over several weeks inquiring about our items before finally receiving an email back simply stating "your items are in, please call to schedule pickup". It was so cold, like we were picking up a bag of clothes, not our baby. The keepsake items from the funeral home were cheaply made (my charm broke within a week and had to be repaired by a jeweler) and didn't even come with chains for the necklaces (they came with a piece of rope). After the trauma of losing our daughter Jim only made it worse. I would NEVER recommend this funeral home to anyone!

St Michael the Archangel Cemetery

St Michael the Archangel Cemetery

(4 reviews)

Pourin' one out for the homies…read more More than a few of my peeps reside here and who knows? If I go by a death that leaves my physical body behind, I might someday be here too... though this kind of only my Plan-B as far as resting places go. That's not to say it isn't Plan A-worthy, because it is, I'd just like to do something a little different if possible... though it probably won't happen because I'll likely be leaving behind nothing but debt and would be lucky if someone lets me bum a paperbag at the end of my story, but just in case it's possible, my wishes are as follows: ** I'd like for my remains to be flown to Antarctica and air dropped down to a family of starving polar bears to eat, BUT, don't just drop my body willy nilly. Def get a rope of something and lower it slowly as if you were playing that fishing game with the mini plastic poles from when you were a kid (this one: http://image.made-in-china.com/2f0j00wCvEtbzsHDqT/Plastic-Toys-Promotional-Gifts-Fishing-Game-EG508-.jpg). Let there be some dangle action in there so the bear's interest is piqued, then release me from the rope or hook or whatever, and let 'em have at my lifeless body. BUT, I don't want to be naked, because frankly, that's perv-y of the bears and the drop team and I just prefer to get through life and death with as few people as possible seeing me naked, SO... the official plan is to wrap my body in a lunch meat bikini, preferably Carl Buddig brand, because that was my favorite food as a child. Turkey flavor, if possible, and not that gross honey kind. Yuck. I'm a lunch meat purist. The end. *** I would imagine this new-age viking funeral would cost a pretty penny, so if it's absolutely out of the question, and my death isn't from spontaneous combustion, I guess I'll be buried here with the rest of my fam... in Section 8 of the cemetery plots... because even in death, us G's are pretty broke. Just kidding... we do alright. Nothing fancy. No need to get showy about it. You can't take it with you. But seriously, we're all located in Section 8 'housing' here. The grounds are pretty much immaculate, and while not enormous, it's a decent enough sized cemetery. There's not really any housing around here and it's a pretty quiet area, near a golf course and a community college that's not at all a convenient walk from, so it doesn't get much foot traffic from folks who don't belong. My family and I, we're not big on funerals and stuff for the most part. We're a God-less people and once 'it' happens we deal with it and then shut up about it. Or at least that's my method, and my Dad's, and pretty much that whole side of the family. My other side of the family, who are also in this cemetery, are a little different. They do it up with flags, and whirligigs, and flowers, and angel statues, and figurines, and all this crazy crap on the headstones and surrounding area. I don't know why, I don't understand it... maybe putting all that crap out makes it seem less lonely for the person who's buried underneath, or to remind themselves that the person isn't forgotten, but I just have to put this out there in case anyone in my family is reading this: PLEASE DON'T PUT SH*T ON MY GRAVE. I want it clean, clear-- hell, I don't even need a headstone. Just dig a hole, toss me in there, no casket needed (though legally I think you do have to have one), let the bugs eat me and don't put any crap out there. I was a hoarder in life, don't make me one in death. The staff here, in what little interaction I've had, were pretty cool. I'm kinda into undertakers and at one point I wanted to be a medical examiner, or just work with lifeless human bodies, but that path didn't pan out, plus my default in awkward or quiet situations is to make jokes and that's just not something you can do in that line of work, so I ended up doing the next best thing... which is writing about it on Yelp, apparently.

They fixed the tombstone sometime back and its now level. Since we bought extra graves next to our…read moreson, I say its good enough. Why would I want to give any cemetary 4 or 5 stars? When it comes to cemetaries 3 stars is my top rating meaning its ok. I do not love cemetaries and will never rate a cemetary higher than 3 stars unless I saw my son's ghost appear there. If that happens, I'll be sure to update this review to 5 stars.

Michaels Funeral Home - funeralservices - Updated November 2026

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