A park I've visited many, many times, ever since I was a kid. Now when we're up visiting family…read moreit's where I take the nephews as there's so much to do here (as long as it isn't raining - Wacky Warehouse further down the promenade is our go-to place for those days). In recent years it's had a major refurb with new facilities (which was long overdue). So alongside the historically well-maintained flowerbeds and woodland walks, there's a great crazy golf course (the old one was well past its best), swing boats, a play area for younger children, trampolines, merry-go-round, tennis and basketball courts, aqua play area, miniature train and a large 'natural' adventure playground. There's a cafe near the crazy golf which sells Lewis's Ice Cream which is fantastic. A lovely place for a stroll on a nice day, with lots of different activities for the nippers (just remember to bring a pocket-full of pound coins - they'll want a go on everything!).

PLEASURELAND!!!…read more Sorry, just had to get that out of the way, I turned into my seven year old self again for a moment. This was the theme park I attended growing up; I'd not yet seen the wonders of Disneyworld and Alton Towers and Camelot just doesn't count, so I loved this place. It was your average traditional seaside funfair complete with rickety rides, a few high budget thrills sponsored by soft drinks (Blackpool had the Pepsi Big One and the Irn Bru Revolution, we had the TraumaTizer) and typically bad ghost trains and whiplash-inducing waltzers. That's a misleading name if I've ever I've heard one, they're far from a gentle dance. 1912 this opened! Oh, just imagine Southport back then, the promenade, the period costumes. Well, they weren't period or costumes back then, but never mind. This was the place where as a wudgy little whippersnapper I'd love to bop around on the carousel, and there was a Fun House (whole lotta fun, prizes to be won) for playful silliness - something you don't see many of nowadays. We used to bring dates here as teenagers too for that typical idealised American movie vibe, and it even had a go-kart track we used to make idiots of ourselves on. Unfortunately, Pleasureland as we knew it closed down in 2006, oh the horror! What were we all going to do? Well, for two years we didn't know. Then in March 2008 it reopened, but redevelopment was planned from those innovative people at Sefton Council. Would you believe it, New Pleasureland, yes, that is its name, opened for the 2009/10 season. New Pleasureland? Perhaps Pleasureland: The Next Generation would have been more appropriate. No more TraumaTizer, however we do have brand spanking new waltzers, a number of twisty, speedy and crazy rollercoasters and plenty of silliness for the kids alongside classics like dodgems and of course the Haunted Inn, although a fire destroyed that earlier this year. Oops. I'm sure it'll be back. If you want the authentic fun fair experience in a lovely seaside location look no further. It's not perhaps as thrilling or sophisticated as say Alton Towers, but it's got a cute kitsch value and it tries very hard. The kids will love it, and so will anyone with a sense of humour and a strong thanatos.

Oh, PleasureLand! You will forever be remembered for being the most unique and otherworldly…read moreamusement park I have ever had the *pleasure* of visiting. I stumbled upon you by accident on a day trip to Southport, England. But as soon as I walked inside I felt like I stumbled upon an amusement park from the 30's--- in Afghanistan! Indeed, the gates looked like barracks from the Taliban. It was surreal. The park was barely inhabited and most of the rides were shut down. It was like a ghost town! We both gaped and wondered aloud how an amusement park this OLD was even still running! The majority of the rides were literally from the 30's. They had a hodgepodge of different Disney characters painted on the exterior of the attractions, including Steamboat Willie! However, my favorite attraction was the cutest artisanal carousel that possessed an EXTRA touch of magic! Instead of generic plastic horses arranged in a circle, there were several different modes of transportation a young child could choose from! For instance, the red fire truck was made out of sturdy iron and if you rode in it you also got to wear the fire helmet! Another was a spaceship with designs lifted from the Sputnik era. Unfortunately, the seat space in the spaceship was so cramped I think only an infant would have been able to fit in it. Lastly, the bulky army tank was complete with camouflaged helmets! It made me forlorn to see how much work went into making this amazing carousel. The creator really took the time to create a special world for these children. It's a shame the same love, attention, creativity, *and* quality isn't shown in rides nowadays. I also deeply regretted the fact that I left my camera home! It would have been so interesting to take pictures of all of these "ancient" theme park rides. I munched on "Candy Floss" (American translation: Cotton Candy) and enjoyed walking around looking at all the rides and laughing at the outrageousness of it all! I can't even describe all the strange things we saw there. I also couldn't wait to go back, this time with the camera! One of the best parts about PleasureLand was the endless jokes one could make *without* the presence of children nearby; "I really hope you enjoyed going to Pleasureland with me, baby." We made a million jokes that day and Pleasureland and Jolly Jack were certainly some of the highlights from my England trip! [This review was written back in 2008. I understand that Pleasureland has since been renovated so I'm not sure if some of the rides that holds a special place in my heart are still there.]

You may've seen the really annoying adverts for this one. I've never reached for my remote control…read moreso quickly in my life. Having said that, Lightwater Valley is a grand day out. Wow I sounded very Yorkshire even by my standards there. This is one of the more known amusement parks in the North and it will soon be open for the upcoming season. That means rides galore and silly funfair related fun. For the bigger kids (and we're included in that) there are ten adrenaline rides. We're not talking quite in the same realms as Alton Towers but they really aren't bad. The Ultimate used to be their crown in the jewel but you'll find other newer attractions to add to this now. It is still the longest rollercoaster in Europe though. For smaller people there are even more rides and I love the skate and go-karts. Ace fun regardless of your age. Everything is included in a one off admission as well so once you've shelled out to get in it's play time unlimited. The eateries are basic at best and very expensive so smuggle some pack lunch in. I also recommend trying to plan your visit around the school holidays as it does get very busy. That can't be helped and they will try getting you on the rides as quick as possible. An adult ticket costs £20 which for a day isn't too bad really. Family tickets are cheaper and they also have some special offers. Praiseworthy value for money. Bring on some oooohhhh and arghhhhs.

I want to step out of another closet here. I am a fun junkie. Ok I've said it!…read more In a previous life I was a regular visitor to theme parks as, sadly, it was part of my job. Because of this I gained a little experience of rides and theme park structure and i wish to bring all my awesome skills to bear in the case of Lightwater Valley. Discounting the great weather (which was a plus but for which I am giving LWV no credit) I am still enamoured of this wonderful place. We went for a family day out and being a family of 6 (now comprising 4 adults and 2 children) these trips are never as cheap as a miserly Yorkshireman would like but we had come by a discount voucher so admission for the whole family was £89.70. The pricing structure seems fairer than some other parks as it is based on height and therefore on how many rides a person can use (this is good as my son is quite petite for his age) A great selection of rides meant that every member of the family left happy (and in some cases quite shaken) and it's always a plus that the whole thing is set in nice countryside. I dropped a star because the catering (in common with most theme parks) lets them down portions being small and prices high. I couldn't finish without a word concerning the staff. I imagine that operating these rides over and over again can become quite disheartening and perhaps downright boring and indeed this is often clear by the facial expressions and demeanour of the staff but I am pleased to say that all the staff here seemed happy and even at the end of the day they allowed 'just one more ride' rather than sullenly chasing everyone away.

Ok. How do you go about reviewing an experience that was incomparable with anything else you've…read moreever had to endure? I'll just see how this goes. It was via a friend that we first heard about this 'haunted attraction', located on a secluded farm on the outskirts of Ormskirk - all sounding very Lancashire Chainsaw Massacre so far isn't it? Their website succeeds in not giving very much away about what to expect when you get there, and in some ways I don't want to spoil anyone else's experience by going into too much detail. So I'll leave out the specifics and keep it as broad as possible; that way the sense of uncertainty and apprehension that we felt remains for others! It's a ticketed event so make sure you pre-book well in advance as they only run it for the month of October and it's very, very popular - when we arrived there were at least 300 people in the queue nervously awaiting entry. When you finally get inside there's a large lobby area with toilets and a snack bar (no alcohol is served or permitted on site). Off the lobby are the three zones - let's call them Zones of Terror or ZoTs for short. Each ZoT requires a bit more queuing but that only helps to add to the unease and doesn't take too long really. The organisers change the theme each year and for 2014 it was 'Revenge of the Dead'. The ZoTs were named 'Meat Locker', 'Psychosis' and 'Terror On The Farm'. You enter them in small groups. Let's just say "expect the unexpected at all times." Don't worry, you won't be touched by any of the 'cast', they have a strict hands-off policy. Apart from that, it's 'gloves off' horror and scares. The website says to allow about two and a half hours to get through all three ZoTs, but it's more likely to take you less than an hour and a quarter. I can only say you need to try it, even if you don't scare easily it's still fantastically well done - we'll definitely be going back next year. I mean come on, the horror sequels are always better...

I want to disagree with those that say Gulliver's is just for the young kids. I took my 2 teenagers…read morewho are 16 and 14 and they had a whale of a time. If you are going to go on the train, wear some good walking shoes as you have a hell of a hill to climb. The whole park is set on the side of a hill. The best thing to do is when you go in the main entrance, Take the chair lift to the top and work your way back down. All the rides are totally family friendly so Mum, Dad and the kids can all go on together. There is only a height restriction on 2 rides so my little 3 yr old niece wasn't allowed to go on the Switchback Roller coaster or the drop tower. There's Fantasy Terrace where you can ride on the Flying Carpet and go on the Dodgems. There Western World where you can drive the JCB diggers, pan for gold and ride the Log Flume. The Log Flume was one of my favourites of the day. All children and adults can go on it yet the drop is quite awesome and we got soaked through. My daughter went on it twice. You can also buy a photo from the ride - We got Magnets to put on the fridge. Next you can take a walk through the Party house with a ball pool, big pedal tractors, A big old sandpit and a great interactive piano that you play with your feet. I took some time out to look at the breath taking views of Matlock and all of Derbyshire. Take a look at the photos to see for yourself. It makes all that hill climbing worth it. The biggest area is of course Lilliput land the home of Gulliver himself. You can play Giant chess , go over the magic stepping stones and ride the veteran cars, Find your way round the 3d maze, ride the Crazy barrel rapid ride, visit Lilliput castle, ride the teacups and the Rio Grande train ride. My favourite area was the Palais Royale area with the Switchback and the cycle monorail but boy did my legs feel it in the morning! As it is Gulliver's Anniversary this year every half an hour the 2 park Mascots Gully and Gilly would come out and sing. It was a lovely treat for the little ones so we took time out to get ice cream and donuts. OK they are a little expensive but the were really Yummy. The absolute last ride you get to go on before you leave the park is the Pirate ship which is my all time favourite ride so it was perfect to save the best for last. As for the food on the park. Well the usual is availableBurgers, Pizza, Chips and Chicken. We ate at Dixies Fish bar. You queue up at the till and order your food (Fish or Chicken burgers) and then when you paid you move round to the window to wait while the slow youngsters in the kitchen prepare your mealDon't wait until you are starving to order. It all comes in disposable wrappers so you can just throw it all away on your way out. I thought the price was quite reasonable and they don't skimp on portions either. Both my children asked if we can go again next year because they went on all the rides and had a thoroughly enjoyable day.

Quite disappointing for the price…read more Fantastic for those with young children only, but for older ones it can be quite boring. Top tip - take a picnic with you as there are plenty of benches about and the food places are extortionate!

Thrilling rides Seriously…read more You haven't lived until you have been on either smiler or nemesis reborn I went on 8 rides and they were all fantastic I went on Oblivion, Wikkerman,Congo river rapids, Nemesis reborn,Galactica,curse at Alton manor, Smiler and spin-ball wizzer All in that order This park is great

Alton Towers is the best theme park in the uk. Yes. Fight me. It's just the timey eccentric vibe it…read morehas not to forget the rides. Three letters: W. O. W amazing park 10/10

Went here on a deal with my partner and two grand- children aged 4 and 7…read more There is loads of things for little ones to do: Trampolinig, tractor rides , haystack climbing , swings and the main attraction a fair size maze with numbered boxes and stickers to collect as you go along; (keeps them interested and competative). 'The children enjoyed it too!'. Fairly reasonably priced , we paid £24 via groupon and thought it was worth that. Food is available in the form of ,chips , burgers, jacket potatoes and pizzas etc; all served in a tented inside area., again reasonable prices. A sucessful attraction that is worth a visit if you have little one's; Although they do have Halloween nights for 'grown ups' in October!

spooky world is absolute rubbish! 4 attractions, at least an hours wait per attraction. You can…read moreonly go on each attraction once. The few actors that we saw were boring, with standard zombie style trick or treat make-up, no rubber or any real effort gone into it. Whilst you're waiting to go into the Slaughterhouse you get to listen to upbeat dance music coming from the huge, brightly lit gazebo in the middle of the park, which isn't used for anything by the way. All I expected was a bit of imagination, maybe some dancing zombies or at least a bit of spooky music and low lights. Spooky World was a massive disappointment with the scariest thing being the slow, poor service to get a drink. When you walk into Slaughterhouse it's pitch black, so you might be expecting something to jump out at you. You'd be wrong. Anyone that you see is well lit and just pants. Apart from a guy running round with a chainsaw this place has no redeeming qualities. Don't waste your money. Buy a creepy mask and go and tell stories in a graveyard. Would be much scarier than this place. p.s if you have a buggy or a wheelchair forget about it. It's so muddy you'll be dragging it around. Visited October 26th 2013

A temporary pop-up escape business. This will disappear after its turned into a scary theme bar…read moreaccording to the staff. The theme is scary that is, not scary punters. The place is quite obviously a working building site with chipboard everywhere but they work that into the experience. We had to wait for quite a long time to start our game but apparently that was due to the previous group taking a key, that was part of the game, with them. I enjoyed the game I played which was loosely based on the film Saw. We did get out 20 minutes early and although I was with possibly smarter people than the last time I went (soz!) I felt like the game was a bit easier than others I've done. There's also a room with a contagious virus theme and another one called Cabin.