Confession time: I love the rodeo.
This is big for me because for the majority of my life I would not get near one without the persuasion of a cattle prod. Although I admired the bravado of the cowboy athletes who competed, my perception of the sport was generally negative. I considered liking rodeo to be reactionary, provincial, even pedestrian and that Luke Perry movie didn't help. A native Texan, I liked things Western, but it had to be the cool, non-tacky Western - custom leather boots, Willie, Luckenbach, Shiner Bock, "High Plains Drifter" and the Old 97s. To a globetrotting, Gen-X, urban Samurai, rodeo fandom was beneath my contempt.
But age is the great clarifier and this prejudice only inhibited me from experience. Realizing that rodeo is actually about as cool-Western as it gets, I recently slid on my Luccheses and headed east to the Mesquite Championship Rodeo.
It was a blast and my 6-year-old, who actually spends much of his summer at our family ranch, was enthralled. I can list all of its merits, but here are the top three reasons to go rodeo:
1. It is the multicultural melting pot of DFW:
"Nay," you say? The night I attended the audience demographic was noticeably diverse with people across the entire socioeconomic, ethnic and cultural spectrum, as well as world-class cowboys from around the globe. Mid-rodeo, an announcement was made thanking the Egyptian consulate staffers who were in attendance and there were even a handful of gay caballeros sitting behind us. (I cannot confirm 100% their sexual orientation, but with the tight T-shirts, lavender satin western cravats, suffocatingly skinny boot cuts and Village People mustaches, I am going out on the presumptive limb.) Not the crowd I expected which, of course, made it all the more interesting and enjoyable.
The only glitch in the demonstration of diversity and globalism occurred during the spotlight introduction of the non-US cowboys who were competing - specifically a Canadian, a Brazilian and an Australian. First their names were called out followed by their city, state and country of origin. For the Brazilian and Canadian the emcee completed the intros unscathed, but when he got to the Aussie from Golbourn there was a hiccup.
He announced the cowboy's name then "Golbourn, North-Southwest, Australia. North-Southwest, Australia? Where's that?"
Then, amused with his wit, he continued, "How do you know when you're there? I bet that guy doesn't know if he's coming or going, ha, ha, ha etc, etc, etc."
This lasted for about a minute with a lot of raised eyebrows and shrugged shoulders circulating Resistol Arena. No one knew what he was blathering about, especially the Aussie cowpoke. Then I looked at my program and got it. It read "Golbourn, NSW, Australia." NSW - the Australian state of New South Wales. A few minutes later, he got it too and mumbled a correction. Awesome!
2. Mutton Bustin':
In short, you take a 3-8 year old, dress him/her in a Kevlar vest and helmet with a face mask, and set them onto the bare back of a woolly sheep. The shoot opens and the sheep bolts (to accompanying banjo music) with the youngster holding on for dear life. The kid that remains on for the longest time wins. Yes, it is as funny to see as it sounds.
3. The Bulls:
1.5 ton spinning, jumping and bucking juggernauts of destruction whose sole purpose is to break the body of the fools who have the temerity to try and ride them for eight seconds. On my visit only two out of ten cowboys made it and one was trampled on severely. It really is quite an accomplishment and an impressive display of athleticism and cajones. Now my friends at PETA might find this treatment of the bulls to be exploitative, but I personally feel that there is more honor living a life in the ring and the stud farm than the pen, chute and slaughterhouse. But, hey, I am also a fan of bullfighting too. So what do I know?
There is also roping, barrel racing, bronco busting, and enough hokey Americana earnestness and cornpone pageantry to keep Borat Sagdiyev busy for at least another movie. Plus, the people working there are terrific - from ticket takers to vendors to ushers - all are incredibly friendly and helpful.
Prices run from $11 for the cheap seats to $2000 for the luxury boxes. My recommendation is the $38 club seats on the end of the arena where they release the bulls. These put you right in front of the action and come with an all you can eat Sonny Bryan's buffet including beer and wine until 9pm. Admittedly, the food is not up to par with other SBs, but you get your chopped beef (beer and wine too) and you get to see rodeo clowns. So, it works.
The rodeo is open every Friday and Saturday June through August. Doors open at 6pm and the rodeo starts at 7pm.
Look for my son in the next heat mutton bustin' heat. read more