Upon one fateful Christmas day,
To escape foul weather's sway
My wife and I drove in our car
To our warm home miles afar.
O'er mountains cold and somewhat drear,
Through forests dark we tried to steer
Our auto over snowy dales
And through the highway's misty veil.
At just about the time of noon
Lo, we felt fast about to swoon
As cravings for a meal began
To come to us in our sedan.
But then, our plight: 'twas Christmas Day,
And we were in the mountains grey!
We almost smacked our heads as we
Did realize our great folly:
We surely should have packed a lunch
Or other morsels we could munch.
Instead, our situation's bleak:
We're with no paddle up the creek.
Without much hope on this strange shore,
We stopped at exit thirty-four
On interstate route sixty-eight
To find aught for our hungry state.
Lo, our dismay! The Subway's closed,
The Burger King not predisposed
To open on a holiday;
The Pizza Hut too, was this way.
And then we spied a thing that we
Thought we would never greet with glee;
The golden arches are to us
Reflected on with animus
For, though the food may taste okay,
All else warns us to stay away:
The lardy food, the clientéle,
Ill-paid minions, and oh, the smell
Of grade-F meat that's made to please
With ample salt and process cheese.
Our horror great, what could we do?
We had no choice, and though we knew
That we were risking health and life,
I parked the car, and then my wife
And I entered the swiv'ling door
Of that fast food joint we abhor.
I will admit: when I was young,
McDonald's was a lot of fun,
And Happy Meals made that a place
Where one found good times and great taste.
Those days are gone; my palate's grown;
Fast food's something I scarce condone,
And betimes Now can seem Hades
Compared to the nineteen-eighties.
But to the present: in we went,
And I must say, to the extent
That we were being served upon
A day when work's not taken on
The service was pleasant enough,
And the cheap food was up to snuff
In terms of filling appetite
'Til we arrived at home that night.
As part of this, our compromise,
Along with water and french fries
I bought that sandwich called McRib,
Tasty enough I didn't jib.
So though this place would normally
Obtain a score quite less then three,
On Christmas Day, it is that I
Will rate this place in stars that high
For, in those straits, it filled a need
When we our standards would thus cede.
So, with this rhyme, I thank those guys
Serving up food 'neath Christmas skies. read more