Here's the thing...
If your motto is gettin' blotto and playin' scratchy-lottos, then you found the right grotto--at Larimer Liquors!
These effin' hooligans truly hate your liver.
But they effin' LOVE makin' your brain forget all the bad times...
They hate your dad because YOU hate your dad.
That joker hasn't been relevant since Iggy and the Stooges wanted to "be your dog!". These god damned samaritans will hold you like a wee-wittle-baby through your trauma recovery...Make you feel seen and (uncomfortably) embraced...
So, if you're like me, and you woke up on the side of train tracks in Grand Junction, with no-small-amount of slobbler on your gobbler, then steal a rascal scooter from a racist, and very very VERY slowly wheel your fat ass down to Larimer Liquors!
They have everything!---
Blind People Scrabble...
Diaper Boi Smooch parties...
Otter Petting Zoo Silent Discos...
Seriously, you're gonna cream them cargo shorts!
Okay, one more thing, and this is more of a warning...
If you're sensitive to tickling, DON'T effin' ever text me again, but also, DON'T worry!
Larimer Liquors only tickles upon request, and USUALLY, it's restricted to JUST your
kneepits pits, OR the deepest inside of your no-no-hole.
But it's entirely consensual!!!
Consent is important, and if you've read this far, I bet you already know that, pervert...
Also, their bartenders are really nice!
Get a beer and a shot for $7.00 read more