I want to give happy, positive, and fun yelp reviews. I really do. So reviews like this are difficult.
After a long night of doing married couple stuff like chalk painting and resurfacing furniture that doesn't look distressed enough (I guess it's parents DID tell them it loved them often enough in childhood), my wife and I wanted a nice sushi and wine nightcap.
Between our children actually falling and staying asleep right away, and jamming out to Mumford and sons on our iTunes, time escaped us. We jumped online and found one sushi place open at 10:30 pm. Kokame. I like the song Kokomo and Kokanee is delicious. So I'm in. And it's sushi and not from a grocery store, so how bad can it be?
The short answer, REALLY bad.
The takeout spot is located on Richmond. But not in a nice bright and welcoming building on Richmond. It's in a "we filmed saw in our basement" building.
Upon first walking in, two things stand out. The staff are very nice and friendly (where one of the two stars came from). And they have MENUS HAND WRITTEN ON BRISTOL BOARD AND TAPED TO THE WALL.
This is usually where that little voice in my head starts yelling STRANGER DANGER. But I already prepaid online. Poop.
I had a nice chat with the guy at the till, while wondering in my mind how this place passed health unit standards while looking like a frat house kitchen. It does not look clean. It's always a bad sign when you have a food place with empty takeout containers from another food place on their counters. If your staff doesn't eat it, you shouldn't expect other people to.
I took it home kicking myself for my ingenuity of prepaying. Cracked a bottle of wine with the Mrs (mcmanis - delicious) and braced myself for a trip down scary clown on a tricycle lane with a possible final destination of my face being super glued to the toilet for the next 24 hours.
I was shocked by two things - how hard it was to find the salmon in my two different kinds of salmon rolls (tiny, bland, mostly non existent under the drowning of spicy mayo) and how soggy and neither crispy not crunchy the crispy crunchy was. It tasted more like sawdust left over from building the set for the filming of saw in the basement.
Here's where the other star comes from - the spicy mayo is DELICIOUS. It feels like it melts your lips because it's got more kick than the rockettes. And the bonus star for not making me violently ill was cancelled out by having the person at the take out place pointing to me the pile of plastic bags and chopsticks on the counter.
The guy in front of me for pickup who smelled like he kicked over his own bong apparently loves it, but I won't be going back. read more