Welcome to John C. Kimball high school, the place where I spent the worst four years in my life. With the recent events of the passing a certain student, it angers me that the staff still will not take responsibility for the well-being and mental health of their student body. It is obvious that this school will continue to put aside the act of SUICIDE as nothing but taboo. I was a student at this high school and the administration does not care about its students at all.
My first year here, a student with my number texted me a picture of a test I was supposed to be taking the next period. I was at lunch while the sender was in class. I do not have control over who, what, or when someone sends me text messages. Regardless of whether I had read the message or not, the student was caught during their test and claimed I was helping him. By the time my lunch period was over, and I headed over to that class, I was punished for his actions and was not allowed to take the test. Despite being a straight A student, always worked hard, was nice to other students, the administration did not care for what I had to say or even had open ears to hearing my side of the story.
In my sophomore year, I had decided to take on AP classes but realized the amount of work was not for me. Especially due to my other at home situations, it became a huge struggle to keep up. I've tried talking to the councilor multiple times in addition with my parents to perhaps change one or two classes. However, they refused and said NO because of an AP contract. THIS AP CONTRACT IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. WHY? Because MULTIPLE OTHER STUDENTS WITH THE SAME EXACT CONTRACT SIGNED WAS ABLE TO DROP THE SAME CLASSES I HAD WANTED TO AS WELL. THEY DID THIS WITH NO PROBLEMS.
Instead I had to endure the entire school year, unable to keep up with the work. I was stressed to the point of PHYSICAL HARM AND DISINTEGRATING MENTAL HEALTH. I was stressed enough where I felt like I had no time to eat. School, the place where I had used to escape from the realities of my harsh family background became a breeding ground of depression. I began to skip class and when I was in class, I would put my head down and sob. Who would help? Nobody. No teacher cared, or even showed concern. I was to the point where I would be so stressed, I felt the need to self harm at school. Despite my arm being visibly bleeding, hurt, torn- I did not receive any help. I could not turn to friends or family for help, so I went to the doctors. Instead I was given attitude and a question, "what is even wrong with you?" I was dismissed without any help. The school, the staff members, the students, and even health care professionals refused to help me.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND NOTICE YOUR STUDENTS. I attempted suicide near the end of that school year and told one student after the fact. Yet, despite my last cry for help I was still not given the help I needed. I decided to take my own life after a stressful night. I didn't bother turning the lights on, but I grabbed a random bottle of pills and just took a handful of doses. I didn't care anymore and I was blinded with tears and sadness. By some chance, the pills I took were melatonin, a natural aid to sleep. Because I am still alive does not make the idea of my suicide attempt any better. The fact that I had the intent to end my life while everyone turned a blind eye to it is disturbing enough.
In my junior year, my relationship with my parents got worse. I remember one day, I had ran away from home because of a heated argument and my parents refused to give me a ride to school. I went to school on my own and was distressed. I was hurting myself and crying outside of my class where all my other classmates stood while waiting for our teacher. A student took notice. Unfortunately, instead what was done is that they tweeted that they wish they could talk to me, but they do not care.
I wish the school would teach its students that your words and voice matters. It has an impact on others and even if it's on social media. Just because it's on Twitter doesn't make you edgy or cool. Your words are directed out there to someone and that person may be reading it.
This school will not listen to suggestions by students unless you're a significant person. They care only for their reputation. They do not even allow seniors to be acknowledged on the college map if they're going to community college. COMMUNITY COLLEGE DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY LESS SIGNIFICANT THAN THE OTHER STUDENTS. What is wrong with continuing and furthering your education after high school? Because it's community college, it doesn't improve the school's ratings? Its reputation? If you do not have the money to go to a UC, your voice is pointless to the school.
Due to the school caring solely about their reputation, I decided to come forward with my experience here. I'd LOVE to elaborate further but I don't have room. I PRAY that this is enough to bring awareness. MENTAL HEALTH IS NOT TABOO. read more