After reading these reviews, I'm relieved and angry to see I'm not alone in my negative experiences with Kaila. Thank you reviewer from Jan for opening my eyes to her pattern of behavior (not sure why it's hidden now except Kaila is trying to scrub the internet of the harms she caused and cares more about her appearance than the impact she has). I didn't believe that it wasn't all my fault until I saw that. Reading that review was a revelation, as almost every single thing listed happened to me. She didn't violate my HIPAA as far as I know, but would often violate the privacy of her other patients with me as a weird way to bond or vent.
She has not done her own trauma and psychological work so lacks the capacity to work with others' trauma safely. I have compassion for this, and genuinely hope she gets help to stop the cycle of perpetuating harm. Yet the ethical, professional thing to do is to refer to clinicians with the skills and capacities to handle patients who are triggering to her, not to take her unresolved issues out on them or use them to stroke her own ego and narcissistic tendencies. I wrote this to warn others who may have similar issues or marginalized backgrounds. She is superficially charming, but was unsafe, undependable, distracted, toxic and at times frankly negligent and abusive. She was never there when I needed her and would ignore my requests for help then pretend we were friends in appts. In the fall I reported a general picture of what happened to a BPA senior member. He thanked me, but declined to say what actions would be taken to ensure what happened to me didn't happen again. I would like her to be compelled into therapy and supervision, particularly with any young queer women or those with a trauma history.
Her lack of boundaries harmed me significantly in ways I'm only beginning to unpack after months of detoxing from her "care". She is not a safe person to be in an altered state with and couldn't be trusted to care for me appropriately at all. At first I thought her lack of professionalism and emotional instability was relatable and I forgave her outbursts. Getting away from her was a long process, wherein everyone who I finally talked to about even the more mild episodes encouraged me to leave. She would reel me back in every time I'd try to address a concern or consider transfer of care, would behave ok for a short time and then the cycle would continue. She convinced me into believing she was only like that with me, that it was my fault and I "made her" like that. I felt so terrible for "making" this "great doctor" (her words) behave so egregiously. I spent years twisting myself into every shape to avoid her rage, outbursts, dismissive attitude and cruelty and to try to earn her help. The "positive" sessions often had a weirdness and inappropriateness that I blamed myself for then and now know she was responsible for. This should have been addressed in our sessions, as any competent clinician would, and it was extremely confusing and re-traumatizing. Also, she also insisted on a wrong diagnosis that led me to a place of stagnation and hopelessness until I found actual therapy. But that pales in comparison to the mindf*#*ery I endured with her. Honestly, I feel lucky to be alive considering the state I was in when I met her and how she treated me. If not for other resources, therapy (not whatever "style" she thinks she has that justifies yelling at and ignoring patients' calls for help) and getting away from her, I'm not sure I would be. She took advantage of me, used me for her own gratification and as an emotional punching bag. I feel deeply betrayed and hurt, especially because I had such fondness for our intellectual discussions. They kept me returning to the poisoned well trying to figure out what was wrong with me to make her hurt me so often and with such casual cruelty. By the end, I would have severe anxiety attacks before our sessions and would end up completely frozen or fawning to protect myself in them. Now I'm learning to listen and trust my own body warning me of danger, which it did and I overrode with her blaming me and my mistrust of myself, and work with stable providers.
Kaila, please use these reviews to pause and seek treatment. I know you don't want to be hurting people & acting like you did. Please use this as a wake up call that you don't have to be like this, but nothing will change if you keep blaming your patients for your actions and refuse to see the harmful impact you're having on people who entrust you with their well being. I can't imagine you would find your behaviors toward me acceptable if they were coming from another doctor who was treating your kids. Please hold in your mind that we are all someone's child and we are all, you included, equal and deserving of care and healing. read more