Can anyone tell me why this tea tastes so bad??? The first time my friend Gary and I got a taro milk tea, he could only have 2 sips before complaining of severe stomach pains and throwing the tea in the bin. It had a texture and taste reminiscent of blended sandpaper. You're really lucky I'm not considering taking further legal action, mostly just to pay for my imminent medical bills brought about by drinking your vile brew.
The tea also had an odour strongly reminiscent of urine, which also added suspicions to my double coconuts milk tea's yellow tinge and murky appearance. As well as this, the so called lychee jelly was as bland as the cashiers personality, and also spoke just about as much English. The lack of English caused my order to be even more royally screwed up, further adding to my distress and unholy suffering. For some reason I had decided to give you a 4th chance (2nd time there was half an un-blended taro in my cup and 3rd time the foam froth which tasted like warm spit, left me with dhiarrea for a further three days and sent me to the emergency room for losing fluids half of which were tears), goodness knows why. I am now in tremendous agony, the only way I can see out of this pain is in the form of a swift and brutal death at my own hands. To accomplish this, I understand I could slowly poison myself day by day by ingesting your inferior tea, but despite my desire to now die i have lost so much fluid that i can no longer stand up and finish what you started. The consistently horrible tea becomes curious when you consider that if this tea was presented As a gift to the emperor, as your motto so proudly suggests, I feel there would be a mass execution in the palace, but you cant blame him, as an assassination attempt is no laughing matter, even when disguised as a gift of "harmless" tea. If i live to see tomorrow's day light, it may be an impossible task to change my views on you're detestable franchise.
Signed yours truly, The Real Matt Preston, the most unsatisfied and now terminally ill customer.
Ps. I don't know why I bothered with this as my hours are limited, as is your ability to comprehend English.
PPs. I'm throwing up as I write this. I hope you can sleep at night knowing that your tea did this to me. I will toss and turn all night, contemplating suicide, all because of your inferior tea
PPPs. Oh, and by the way, I dare anyone on this site to try one, who knows? Perhaps you will enjoy the sudden onset of dysentery, typhoid, polio, and hair loss. read more