I woke up this morning in a foggy and hungover daze and suggested to my girlfriends, all three whom I've only known one night (groupies,) that we go to this place for breakfast. I saw it on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives on the Food Channel and since it was only a block from the hotel we gathered our composure and went there. My first impression was how I imagined Guy Fierri, the host of the TV show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, beating down the panhandeling homeless bums and ghetto rats for leaving greasy fingerprints on his pristine '69 Camero. The area is crawling with them. Not '69 Cameros...bums. This entire place is about the size of my ex-wife's shoe closet. Smelled as bad too. It's a converted Pullman diner/soda fountain car with face brick and a small addition attached to it. Theres a 70+ year old griddle/cooktop behind the counter with non functioning draft-hood where most of the omelets a prepared a half dozen or so at a time. There's also 70+ years of grime and grease on everything. Most of the cooking is done in a kitchen hidden in the back somwhere. It has one counter with 12 stools, a side room about six feet wide, 20 or so feet long with six small cramped booths. There also a back room with two picnic tables that my accomodate maybe 10 midgets If your 6'4" and weigh 200 pounds, like me, you're way too tall and big for this place. You'll have to sit sidways on the stools and you'll bump your head everywhere. You will constantly have to duck or be knocked into by the army of zit-faced, tattooed and pierced college students staffing this place carrying one item at a time. Most of them were sleepwalkers. Don't they teach Hygiene in college anymore? Since it is so small, you have to wait outside and deal with the drug traffickers.
We waited about 1/2 hour for a booth and managed to figit ourselves in. I ordered multiple rounds on Bloody Marys. Good thing too because it turned out to be the best part of this place. To commemorate the "Taste of Kenosh Weekend" and the arial installation of the new Kenosha lighthouse beacon, I ordered the Garbage plate. It consisted of a five egg omelet stuffed with onions, peppers, sausage, corned beef hash or ham or some kind of mystery meat, potatoes, and hash browns. Tasteless homemade bread and weak coffee. Three refills allowed. There's a reason why they call it the "Garbage Plate." That's pretty much what it tasted like. It was bland, greasy and had no seasoning. However, the cinnamon roll french toast was very good. Expect a blood sugar spike afterwards. The biscuits and gravy were watery and too peppery. The biscuits were little plaster of paris hockey pucks you needed a steak knife to saw through. We shared the four meals we ordered. Although the portions are generous, the taste is mediocre at best with no distinct flavors. The Bloody Marys were made from a mix but still good because they overpoured the vodka. The prices are very reasonable but what's the point if the food is disappointing. We left after only picking through our breakfast for room service at our hotel. After experiencing several of Guy Fierri's Food Channel Best of DDI&Ds, I am convinced that he has a taste altering drug disorder. read more