Have you ever heard of Ed Debevic's? It's a diner in Chicago where the staff are trained to be extremely rude to the customers. It's a gimmick, and the diners are in on it; you step in and the checker rolls their eyes and sighs loudly, then hurries you to a table and throws menus at you and basically tells you to fuck off, and it's funny because it's what's meant to happen. The staff are quite good at it, and it's an alternative dining experience.
Yeah, well that's the drivers of the First Bus, except there's no fucking joke here, and they are not so good at their jobs. I'm almost certain that it's a contractual requirement to be a petulant, belligerent fanny to literally anyone if they do anything other than put an exact fare in front of them when entering their shuttle. ''Does this bus go to Great Western Road?''. Might as well have told him his Mum was a slag, the way he treated me. And my girlfriend, who put a bit too much money in the receptacle. ''Where ur ye gawn?''. ''Woodlands Road''. ''That's no enough''. ''There's £3.50 in there, that's more than enough''. ''Whit huv ye put in there? That's no enough''. ''I put £3.50 in there''. ''Naw it's no, that's no enough''. ''I've. put. three. fifty. in there.'' ''Right, jist get oan then'', shaking his head in dispproval. Then the fucker shouted on me to come back so he can inspect my bus pass! I'd just bought it. Absolute wanker. I live in the South Side where basically half of Romania now resides, and oh my, the drivers don't like those Romanians... These people, although scruffy, are doing their best. They're dealing with a place that isn't theirs, using a language and currency that isn't theirs, and just trying to get somewhere like the rest of us. They don't know the various ins and outs of being British (see: quiet and miserable), but try telling that to these pituitary ex-doormen. They treat them like scum. (To be fair actually, I've seen an entire family try to pay in coppers before, but that was one time).
As for the actual bus service? Er... it kind of just turns up roughly when it wants. Give a ten minute error bar each way and you've got your bus. Just don't ask ANY questions regarding your destination, or the route or ANYTHING in any way relating to the job they're supposed to be doing, unless you want to be belittled in front of 50 people, give or take. And they don't do change.
Interestingly, I used to live in Fife, near Dundee. Same shitty Scottish people, but the drivers were smiley, chipper and actually gave you change back. What? However, I'm just speaking for Glasgow when I say to First Bus: Stop hiring people that hate other people. I don't care how stressful your job is, you fucking knew that when you started. Seriously, it's not on - get these drivers to fuck, it's a bus, not a nightclub.
Apart from that, the seats are quite comfy on the 4.
2 Stars. read more