I had a great experience working with Elayne to overcome a workplace relationship struggle and would recommend that you seek her out if you want to get through communication and relationship struggles you have in your personal life or at work.
She's got a broad social work/therapeutic background as well as a really unique specialty in interpersonal communication. I understand she works with couples - and I can imagine she'd be great at that. But what I found most remarkable was that I was essentially able to resolve a deep pattern of tension and nastiness in a "couple" relationship (and boy, was it like one) with my direct supervisor even though I came to see Elayne independently.
I was at risk in my position at work because of my dynamics with my direct supervisor (he was extremely demeaning and dismissive and we were both defensive and resentful in our communication). Our conflict had been perceived by the higher ups - it wasn't subtle. Though it was recognized that this was an "it takes two to tango" situation (and it may have even been appreciated that I was to some degree a victim of a very unfair/unbalanced power situation), realistically and politically, the risk to the job was mine. I had had my share of workplace or personal relationship struggles, but this was definitely an extreme situation that felt out of my control. And I loved the job in many ways and didn't want to risk losing it and damaging my professional reputation.
I found recommendations for Elayne on the Berkeley Parents Network website and checked out her own website and book. She looked exactly like who I needed to work with, and I was right. She is able to help you discover how your communication might be improved, but even in situations when it seems like much of the "blame" can be placed on another, she is able to help you find a voice and demeanor to take control of interpersonal communication and subtly but profoundly influence the outcome of interactions. We had a very active way of working. Though we did talk about the past and the origins of some of my feelings when needed, the majority of our work revolved around evaluating situations and incidents and patterns (I documented in detail my bad interactions at work) and identifying different approaches I could take. I was able to explore these approaches, integrate and practice at what works, and really come out with a different sense of my power and dignity in a difficult situation.
I worked with Elayne over about 15 sessions. My workplace relationship has been much improved and I feel happy and secure in my job. I know that my efforts and changes made a huge difference, but in full disclosure, my boss did also call this person to task. I wouldn't want someone to think that therapy alone is going to allow them to turn around the actions of others, but I was surprised to discover along the way how much power we have to affect our own behavior and even that of others. As Elayne says, "Take responsibility for the effect you want to have." read more