The core of your
true self
is never lost.
Let go of all the
pretending and
the becoming
you've done just
to belong.
Curl up with your
rawness and come home.
You don't have to
find yourself;
you just have to
let yourself in.
-- D. Antoinette Foy
One year ago today, I stepped in Nathan's office feeling so stuck in my life I could barely breathe. Today I don't just breathe: I live, move, and dance in ways that I never thought would be accessible to me, and I owe it to him.
If you are, like I was, in search of clues as to what is somatic therapy, here's what I learned. Somatic psychotherapy is one of the most efficient ways to access one's self because the human body (soma) is simply incapable of lying, and the process of learning to recognize and trust its wisdom unmistakably leads us to our own core. During the course of our existence, we embody our exchanges with the world and form our own architecture based upon our experiences. This "form", that we either intentionally or subconsciously create, in turn influences our approach towards life. We are first and foremost instinctive beings: there are plenty of processes going on in our bodies that we don't directly control with our minds, but that inform who we are and how we feel and behave. It therefore stands to reason that attempting to introduce change by focusing on the mind alone is likely to be, at best, an incomplete approach. Somatic therapy brings awareness to the connection between the body and the mind and allows for change to stem from within a person's structure, making it more real, tangible, and meaningful.
Like some sort of a Zen Master, Nathan is soft spoken, compassionate, and endlessly patient. He doesn't encourage or discourage, enable or inhibit, praise or judge. He doesn't lay out an arbitrary blueprint of your happiness, nor does he buy into any randomly self-imposed standard. Instead, he guides you towards really getting in touch with yourself and deciphering what your own wholesomeness looks like.
Over the past year, he mindfully accompanied me on a path that was messy and irregular, at times painful and uncomfortable, at others cathartic and liberating. He gave me the space and modeled the attitude I needed to start easing my grip and unpacking my issues. What I most appreciated was his strong, intentional, and caring presence, both physical and emotional, and that gentle but constant nudge to become and stay aware of the connection between feelings and body responses. Drawing from his yoga and meditation background, he is especially gifted at transmitting a sense of calm, optimism, and openness to new possibilities.
He let me be in charge of my own pace, allowed as much time as I needed to trust him, and never showed any doubt in my ability to make progress.
I felt surprisingly safe voicing my most outrageous thoughts, and I enjoyed experiencing the hesitation, exhilaration, and peace brought about by the freedom of accessing the most irrational and instinctive side of myself.
Hardly a docile client, I quit on him more than a couple of times, when I couldn't or didn't want to keep going, but I always went back as soon as I was ready. While he made sure to let me know that his door remained open, never once did he belittle my behavior or my choices.
As time went by, I credit Nathan for helping me realize that my initial problem was a symptom of something buried much deeper inside my body. Hadn't it been for his relentless commitment (and my daring to find out), I don't think I would have ever gotten that far, and I could certainly not imagine taking such a wild journey with anybody else. His style is unhurried, genuine, grounded, unpretentious, unfazed, empathic. He is to your stereotypical idea of therapy as an organic, slow cooked, farm fresh meal is to a TV dinner!
Culinary analogies apart, you are probably trying to get a sense for this practitioner and wondering whether he could be a fit for you. My take is: while therapy is so personal there is no way of knowing whether you can gel with a therapist/life coach until you meet him in person, chances are high that in Nathan's care you'll feel comfortable, respected, and sincerely valued. Also, if my experience is any indication, you'll end up in much better shape than you've been in a long time or, quite possibly, ever.
If, understandably, you are on the fence about therapy, I'd like to share something I read that feels very real to me: in healing yourself, you are healing generations that came before you, and generations that will come after you. Freeing yourself from your burdens has a powerful impact not only on your life, but also way beyond your own individuality. It's your poignant and concrete contribution to making the world a better place.
In conclusion, my unsolicited but honest advice is: you will love having Nathan as your therapist. Give it a shot, try to stick with it, enjoy the ride, ...and start dancing.
...But whatever you do, stay away from TV dinners! ;) read more