This is a review for their Float Tank session, not for their medicinal cannabis products.
I was gifted a Groupon for three 60 minute floatation tank sessions and I couldn't have been more excited. Before my first session, I did research, watched videos of what to expect, so on the day of, I was pretty giddy about the whole thing.
It was NOTHING like I expected.
I entered a stark room. A towel on a metal folding chair that was far away from the tank's door which meant that I had to place my clean towel on the dirty floor if I wanted to dry off immediately and not walk around cold and naked.
I entered the tank, the door let in a good amount of light which I thought it wasn't supposed to at all. The tank smelled of musty vinyl. I tried to ignore it, the light, I was opening to experience all the beneficial values of a sensory deprivation tank.
So I'm floating there... trying not to be grossed out by the smell... but then I had a drop of cold water splash on my face, and then after a bit another and then after a bit another.
The water seemed cold. The water wasn't supposed to be cold, but it was cold by my head and warmer by the door.
Then the thought of everyone's pubic hair and other bodily whatever just got the best of me, and I decided that life is too short to be stuck in somebody else's disgusting bath water.
Wasn't this suppose to be some kind of sensory deprivation chamber thing?!!! If only I could have been deprived of all the bad sensations!
After getting out, I must have touched my face because somehow I got salt on my lips and tasted, not just salt, (I grew up by the ocean, I know what salt water tastes like), but what only could be best described as what I imagine a mixture of salt and a middle-school boy's week-old gym sock would.
I looked at my watch, I only made it 10-15 minutes. That was 10-15 I will never have back in my life.
The gentleman at the counter asked me how my experience was, and I told him I was disappointed by the foul smell, the cold water and the drips on my face. And his reply, as if I was some kind of "Karen", just looking for problems to complain about was, "90-95% of the people who come love it."
Maybe that is true, maybe that young man flunked math class along the way, or maybe I should have smoked something that was in the front room before I went in, but hadn't.
He didn't offer anything that would make things right. My gift. Three 60 minute sessions! I cannot use. I'm so sad. It was such a disappointing experience.
I didn't argue, I left and email the establishment asking for a refund, and now several days later have not heard back. According to Groupon, "redeemed vouchers may not be redeemed or rescheduled."
So... buyer beware, this may not be your thing.
* I found a Google image that looked like the floatation tank they use. It's advertised for home not commercial use. read more