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    Desires Houston

    2.8 (11 reviews)
    Closed Closed
    Updated over 3 months ago

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    10 months ago

    They're no longer in business. Closed down. I spoke with the owner. Unfortunately for everyone in this area.

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    Ask the Community - Desires Houston

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    Hi there you can purchase a membership online at www.clubutopiatexas.com

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    The Pendulum Club - Dance floor view

    The Pendulum Club

    3.6(28 reviews)
    5.0 miFairbanks/Northwest Crossing
    $

    This place is very rude over the phone they do not know how to professionally talk to customers or…read morepossible customers and the person on the phone admitted to me they dont know how to fix their own website.

    Friday night review…read more What we liked: - The staff and especially the couple at the door checking us in. Super positive, high energy & fun folks who turned a tedious process (you need to register before coming) into an acceptable experience. - The interior of the venue was super cute and well decorated. The dance floor was fun and although crowded, there was lots of space to sit and meet others. - There were lots of couples there for a Friday night who were fairly friendly and attractive. It was actually one of the youngest crowds of any club we've been to. NOTE: Five stars if you're just looking for a sexy party with fun people. What we didn't like: - The playroom section was weird and had absolutely no sexy vibe to it. As you enter the room, there are two beds against the wall with drapes that you could close for privacy. Across the walkway from those beds was another bed out in the open with couches around it, but no synchronicity to the other beds or way to connect play for any of the couples on these beds. On either side of the walkway, there's a room with bed in it, so people constantly walked in between the 2 bed & 1 bed+couch set up... trying to gawk at anyone playing, talking/laughing loudly, spilling drinks and killing any sexy vibe in the room. We were there until about 1:30am and the space was a vampire feeding off of the sex-energy created outside the playroom. - Single Men! We are fine with single guys, but we were led to believe they wouldn't be allowed in the playrooms without an invite, but in reality - there was no security or rules posted, and the single men were like mosquitoes in the playroom. They mostly followed lifestyle etiquette, asking permission for anything and just watching when the curtain was open.... But if that's not what you're looking for, don't believe that there won't be single men in the back playroom. - We never saw anyone around to change sheets when people finished on the beds, or even found extra sheets to change anything ourselves. RATING: As a lifestyle club designed to meet people, or have a great sexy party at a club to find a couple you may go home with - this place seems great. For us, we put a lot of emphasis on play AT THE CLUB, and just wouldn't go back - which is a shame because the check in couple was awesome.

    Photos
    The Pendulum Club - Group room

    Group room

    The Pendulum Club - Holiday sessions

    Holiday sessions

    The Pendulum Club - Dance floor view 2

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    Dance floor view 2

    Joy of Houston Men's Club - Just what it says $$€$$$

    Joy of Houston Men's Club

    2.9(7 reviews)
    5.5 mi
    $$

    It's kind of strange driving up to this place. You enter from the street and hook a left or you end…read moreup in some truck yard. Easy to spot however and easy to get to. Guys, you're gonna pay $10 to get in. They have a metal detector which you will walk through. The layout is much to the likes of a really long trailer home. They really built it up inside from when they first opened. It's much more modern and clean now although I will stop short of saying it's a classy place. I've seen worse clubs, and there are better ones. Last time I went, I tried to open a tab at the bar with a credit card and the bar tender told me there is a $25 minimum. I ended up paying with cash for the first drink because apparently its a hassle to open a tab with a card. Well the $25 minimum was a lie. Another waitress opened my CC tab with no minimum nor issues. Cocktails were weak so go with beer or shots. They had a seafood buffet going on which included mac n cheese, chili, and some other things that weren't seafood. Only soggy fried catfish and hush puppies were on this "seafood" buffet. Closing the tab was like closing on a mortgage. My ID and cc was scanned, signatures compared and corrected. I can understand why........ Overall, this isn't a bad place but the lying bartender skimping on the alcohol left a bad impression with me. I'd still go with friends but I wouldn't make a special trip on my own. The buffet they proudly advertise is borderline false advertisement. There are more classy gentlemen clubs in Houston, but if you are in the area, might as well try it.

    I visited this club on a Friday night. The parking lot was very well-lit so I felt comfortable…read moreparking my car toward the back of the lot. The building was nicely maintained. Upon entering, the bouncer at the front door had the ladies get their purses checked for weapons. The foyer, with a door separating entrance and club, was surprisingly quiet, given the atmosphere. Cover was $10 per person. Standard dress code: No baggy pants, no white shirts, no bandanas. Women customers have to be escorted by at least one male per group. Our group was three females with one (lucky) male. Passing the foyer, we were immediately greeted by a cocktail waitress who helped us pick a location. The interior of the club was nicely decorated for Halloween and was incredibly clean. The crowd was very mixed, with no one specific race or type outweighing another. Bikers, crew cut military men, black, white, Asian -- plus, all men seemed happy and relaxed. The restrooms were extremely easy to find and well-marked with bright signs indicating LADIES or MEN. The ladies' restroom, however, was not up to par. The first stall had a giant plastic bag covering the toilet, and was clearly unusable. The second stall was also unusable since, when I pushed the door inward, it slammed into the toilet (no room for me to get INTO the stall). Thinking back, I could have probably swung the door toward me to get in, but I wasn't particularly clear-headed at the moment, if you know what I mean. The fourth stall was a handicapped stall. With few options, I chose the third stall and found there was no lock on the door. To its credit, the club had clean toilets, and even given the broken and outdated bathroom, it seemed that the club cares about cleanliness. Side note: the entertainers utilize the same bathroom, so it appears there's no employee-specific bathroom. As I enjoyed the evening, a couple of things happened to sour my evening: after the initial waitress helped us, drinks were very few and far between. I got up several times to serve my own table. For the first two hours, we had two different waitresses, and neither one visited more than once. We spent a lot of time less focused on stage routines because we were all craning our necks to locate a waitress. When I finally mentioned it to a third waitress, however, she ensured that my table was kept happy for the duration of the evening, and I was appreciative of that. Bartenders were very friendly, and this was actually pretty wonderful. Dancers were also friendly but for a Friday night, I expected more entertainers. I would guess about 10 entertainers were working at the time of my visit. No dancers introduced themselves to our table and I had to chase a few dancers down to get lap dances. Lap dances cost $20 each. There was a "feature dancer" but she was not a stripper; i.e., all clothes were left on. She was the most entertaining in terms of stage presence -- she worked the pole with just a few impressive tricks, as well as performing a ribbon dance suspended from the ceiling. The ribbon dance was well received from the audience. Dancers Barbie and Kree were the hit favorites at our table. Though I did have to chase them down to get lap dances at first, the entertainers danced very well and performed clean and classy routines. The song Kree danced to was incredibly short (about 2 minutes versus a normal 4 minute song), and with no prompting from me, she told me she'd dance more into the next song because she felt like the music had ended sooner than normal. One huge issue that brings my final rating down one star was the lack of one-dollar bills. Waitresses kept returning change in the form of bigger bills, and we had expected to be able to make change for our larger denomination bills. I was repeatedly told that they were "out of ones." Unfortunately, this greatly impacts my tipping ability. This situation *could* have been an anomaly; perhaps (and hopefully) a very generous customer had wiped the bar out of singles earlier in the night. Hopefully, this isn't a regular occurrence because tipping the dancers is part of the fun we expected to be able to do. All in all, I would definitely go back due to the vibe of the club. At no time did I feel pressured to spend money. At no time was I disgusted by anything. As a female, I'm pretty picky when it comes to bottom-baring entertainment, and this one is A-OK. Not over-the-top fantastic, not downright despicable, but just A-OK.

    Photos
    Joy of Houston Men's Club - My girlfriend name with mine Smiley and Angela forever  I guess lol

    My girlfriend name with mine Smiley and Angela forever I guess lol

    Joy of Houston Men's Club
    Joy of Houston Men's Club

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    Desires Houston - danceclubs - Updated May 2026

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