This is the second installment of a review which began with my review of Cedar Creek . that review is above this one on my profile
"My Inauguration Day night out" Part 2.
Got to Sam's Boat around 9'ish and met up with my pal Wendy. We ordered a couple of beers and chatted for a while. I explained to Wendy what a bad week it had been. We had thousands of dollars worth of tools stolen from the test site on the weekend and then I never got a mention on 'The Real Men of Yelp' circular! Not on!. Must have been that review of the Spa I wrote when i talked about Metrosexuals and Manbags!
He said "Hang on a minute. We are here in Sam's Boat and there's a Mens Club next door isn't there? Lets go there, that is manly stuff and you can write it up"
I had already written a Yelp review for a Houston Mens Club called 'All Stars' and that was a 1* joke but I thought, sod it, lets go for it. Why not?
We chugged our beers and made our way to Onyx.........
At the door a bouncer stopped us.
Him : "Got your ID"
Me : "Here it is mate"
Him : "You from Australia"
Me : "No mate, England"
Him : "London?"
Me : "No, Mars mate. It's just above London" (that went straight over his head)
Him : "Gonna need to search ya"
Me : "That's alright pal, left my Bow and Arrows on the nightstand"
Him : "Haha, Man, You Australians are all jokers..... You're clean. Go on in"
Paid the $20 each cover and walked inside.
First thing you notice when you walk in.... It is dark .... and you hit a wall of sound. Music is REALLY LOUD.
Small bar dead ahead. To the right is a stage and to the right of that are the toilets and an ATM. On the left was a small podium with a Pole. We headed straight for the bar but got jumped on by a BOBFOC** type lass.
She: "Hey sweetie, where y'goin"
Me : "Gonna get a drink love"
She: "You from Australia?!"
Me : "Yep" ( you didn't think I was going to go through all that again did you?)
She: "My name is Hollywood, what's yours?"
Me : "Joel ..... Joel Rebocks" (She never got it..)
She: "Do you want me to come with you to the bar babe?"
Me : "No thanks, I can manage OK from here"
She: "OK, see you later Blue eyes"
We ordered a couple of large Vodka Red Bulls and I got change from a 20 spot so that was good. We took a table by the small podium where the music wasn't so loud and took in the scenery. Girls here come in all shapes and sizes, something for everyone. They were all generally good looking with the odd fugly but, it is a matter of taste I guess. Common to them all were the costumes which could easily double as dental floss. Not much imagination required here.
There was some real RRRrrrrumpa Bumpa Pumping going on on the stage and Baby Bash's "Cyclone" was tune of the night. It appeared to play every 20 minutes. Nothing too much wrong with that but at the volume setting they had it at, it was more like "Baby Bash Your Ears In".
The volume had gone up further and it was difficult to hear and the reverb was that strong that the glasses were shaking and moving round like they were on a Ouija board!!
The BOBFOC lass turned up again. All I could hear was every other word.
She : "... Baby, .... for .. dance"
Me : "No thanks, OK for the min"
She : "We ... broom in ... back if ... want?"
Me : "A broom..? What do you mean?"
She : "What Baby?"
Me : SHOUTING NOW ........"JUST HERE FOR A DRINK, MAYBE LATER"
She heard that OK.
I had seen from the bar that there was a pool table and so I tapped my mate on the shoulder and motioned to go through. We spent the rest of the evening there, as you could hear yourself talk, and we got drinks brought to us.
The one thing that stands out about this club is how none of the girls tried to pressure us into spending money. Lots of them came and chatted with us and just seemed curious as to what two White blokes were doing in Onyx. I did a count back this morning and I reckon I spent around $100 all in and had a really good night. Just the tinnitus that is bothering me now.
When we left at around 1:30AM the BOBFOC** lass was pre-occupied with another customer and appeared to be helping him find his lunchbox so we skirted by and the bouncer who had searched me earlier gave us a friendly "See y'all. Did you have a good time?"
"Yes thanks mate, We are just heading back to Oz" I replied
"Got to go feed Toto"
He didn't get that joke either ......
**BOBFOC - Body off Baywatch, Face off Crimewatch. read more
